


Star in his eye

by Coghead



Category: Black Butler, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-25 21:10:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coghead/pseuds/Coghead
Summary: Ciel has not been feeling like himself lately and has discovered gaps within his memories, and his Butler has been acting rather strange. What could this all mean? Could it affect the contract in place between the two of them?As Ciel takes steps towards the truth surrounding his new circumstances, complications arise within the realm of the Reapers. How does it concern them?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> To avoid confusion: This does take place after Season II canon, settings and circumstances will become more explanatory as the story goes on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel has not been feeling like himself lately and has discovered gaps within his memories, and his Butler has been acting rather strange. What could this all mean? Could it affect the contract in place between the two of them?   
> As Ciel takes steps towards the truth surrounding his new circumstances, complications arise within the realm of the Reapers. How does it concern them?

“Yes and that will be all, Sebastian…” The tired youth couldn’t quite manage to look up after such a dull, tiring day. His words were spoken dryly, but this was not unusual.

“Of course Master, forgive me if I have inconvenienced you.” The tall figure elegantly poured the young boy some tea with a charming smile. As charming of a smile as it was, it was a sort of smile that could have been hiding some insincerity.

The mere expression alone from his servant was just enough to leave the slightest hint of color in the young Earl’s cheeks, as he swiftly raised the teacup to his lips, taking a drawn-out sip. The world for a moment seemed very red through his eyes, but in a blink of an eye– the crimson hue that filtered his vision was gone. It was just one, fleeting moment– but it was strange. Goodness, Ciel really must have been tired.

“I shall come to collect you for bed in precisely one hour, you need only call if you wish to retire before then. If I may, I’d like to inform you of tomorrow’s schedule: You will be meeting with the Duke of Westheim and his associates in regards of some negotiations for the ownership of the newly planned Austrian factory. Then, we have Violin lessons, a public appearance with an associate of the Queen, and the rest of the day is your leisure my lord. I will have breakfast and your bath ready for you in the morning, young Master.” After he had given the information, he ended his last sentence with a perfect bow.

“Thank you, Sebastian … One more thing. Try to do something about that noise.” Whatever was going on downstairs with the rest of the mediocre-at-best staff … Ciel didn’t even want to know. “I have no idea how they expect me to sleep.”

“As you wish, my Master.”

Ciel Phantomhive could not help but be just the slightest bit satisfied as his servant took his leave, knowing the others were going to be scolded. It was not as though he was eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help but smirk as he overheard the conversation from just beyond his own corridor:

“Will all of you please take some consideration of our Master and quiet down. Please be gentle with your tasks, and quiet down.”

“–HE SAID IT TWICE!”

The boy chuckled to himself and then proceeded to deal with an unfortunate stack of paperwork. There was so much to read, and so much to sign… such were the expectations of the head of the house of Phantomhive.

The clock struck eleven when Sebastian entered the room as silent as a shadow to check on his young Master. The boy sat up quickly when he heard him coming, he had nearly nodded off. He made every effort to hide it, now that his Servant was in the room with him.

“Master, I have come to collect you for bed, I see that you are quite prepared for your slumber.”

There was that exact same smile again. Ciel was about to make a cheeky remark, but the words caught in his throat. In silence, his Butler gently guided the young Earl towards his bed, and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders in an poised motion.

“Your linens are fresh, sire.” Sebastian knelt before him once he sat him at the bedside, and prepared to undress the boy for much needed sleep. “We best hurry before they grow cold.”

“Very well.” Ciel’s expression seemed more dulled than usual, with his arms extended expectantly from his bed. How many nights has it been since he had a decent night’s sleep? It was funny, but he could remember.

His Butler took a lot of care to undress his Master as he unbuttoned his shirt with precision. His shoes were unlaced, his ties unwound, everything was removed one garment and accessory at a time with professional surgeon-like hands. Though he was always keen on being thorough and focused on whatever tasks his Master gave him, he always allowed Ciel to remove his final covering– an eye patch, from his eye. Tonight from where his Master sat on the edge of the bed, for the briefest moment their gaze met and locked as Ciel began to reach for his own face. This stopped Ciel, he felt his entire body become still.

The youth felt at that moment another unfamiliar emotion, and along with it, again came another flash of red. Just when it was noticed, all at once with a blink of an eye, it was gone.

Ciel averted his gaze elsewhere. Surely, it was only a lack of sleep. It was nothing worth mentioning.

It seemed like forever before the Earl saw his servant bring him his familiar nightshirt. Of course, Sebastian was ready to assist him, “Arms up; there we go.”

His Butler buttoned and adjusted the final few buttons of his sleepwear and with that, the nighttime routine was nearly completed. It was the same routine they’ve had for the past several years.

So of course, the young Earl was met with complete shock and surprise when his Butler, without any spoken word, lifted him up into the air. Ciel had only time to inhale sharply in response. Sebastian was never to touch him without permission, and certainly only when it was necessary. For a brief moment, the boy thought the worst and felt fear rise up within him– had his time come?

…But then, his Butler merely placed him in the recently warmed bed sheets, tucking them around him. The action was unusually … soft. Before Ciel could remark, or perhaps protest such an abnormal action by giving his Servant a well-deserved slap, the gaze of his butler silenced him. Because the eyes of his servant truly were silencing. Sebastian leered down upon the boy, and Ciel quietly observed that his butler now had a candelabra in his hand, a candelabra that was on the other side of the room less then a second ago. The candle light flickered over their faces and a strange, foreign suspense hung heavily in the air around them.

The moment in the end had to have been fairly brief, but it felt a great deal longer to Ciel. Every once in a while over the course of their relationship, Ciel found himself getting a little too comfortable with his Servant. But it was always the moments such as these, that reminded him, truly, what Sebastian Michelis actually was. A Butler, his Servant… these titles were just a secondary occupations, afterall. Sebastian wasn’t even his real name, was it?

It took the boy of noble birth a moment to come back to himself, but he realized it seemed as though his Butler wanted to say something. The youth’s expression shifted, almost impatient now. He wanted to scream, ‘Don’t look at me like that. What do you WANT,’ but this was only expressed with his own thoughts, and in his face, he hoped. A sudden draft in the room caused the flames on the candles flicker and jump as Sebastian’s hushed voice filled Ciel’s ears. “You almost forgot, My Lord.” Slowly, carefully, he pulled off the youth’s eye patch with the utmost care, and placed it at the bedside table for him. His eyes were a gleaming, fierce red, and not once did they leave Ciel’s.

“…Goodnight, Sebastian.” A rushing cold sense of dread crept up the young boy’s spine, and yet, no goosebumps appeared upon his pale skin. Something clearly was not right. Something was left unspoken and unknown. Was Sebastian displeased about something, or just playing with him? Or was it something else?

“Goodnight, My Lord.” His Servant’s eyes narrowed just the smallest bit before he rose into a normal standing position and turned his back to the youth. The Butler took three careful steps toward the door, and with him, he also took the only source of light that remained in the room. Ciel knew as soon as his door closed he would be left in darkness.

“…–Sebastian.” The youth was disgusted with himself for sounding so urgent.

“My Lord?” His Butler stopped but did not turn around, not yet.

“….It’s nothing, nevermind it.”

The young Earl closed his eyes and expected him to exit the room. But again, he heard the voice of his Servant.

“Master, would you like me to remain here until you fall asleep?” His Butler decidedly pulled up a chair and sat close to his bedside, holding the candelabra and remaining perfectly still.

“I would deeply appreciate it.” Such a thing seemed contradictory, given whatever just happened between them. Ciel wasn’t sure how to explain the sort of comfort the action would bring him, but thankfully, it wasn’t the sort of thing that he would have to explain to anyone. The youth just knew, he felt better having him near. Yes, even if things seemed out-of-place between them. Somehow, he felt more nervous having Sebastian further away, drifting into the unknown night, than he did if he were at his bedside.

“Master, know that even as I am not here, nothing that lurks in the darkness can hurt you. I shall never allow it.” His Servant placed a gloved hand over his chest before he concluded with, “However, if it comforts you, I shall stay.”

Ciel kept his eyes closed and managed a subtle nod after a few moments to let the statement sink in. Sebastian played games, but he never lied to him. There was some logic in this comfort. Perhaps he could even sleep well.

It was not a secret that in the recent, Ciel had been getting such horrible sleep. Of course, his mind would play tricks on him after a while and paranoia would settle in.

It was entirely possible that everything tonight had been exaggerated by his own imagination, and he was merely paranoid from lack of sleep. Perhaps nothing had changed between them after all. Everything was under control, clearly.

“Master, please know that I will always protect you. It is what I am here for.”

And perhaps Ciel was comforted too soon. Why would Sebastian put such emphasis on that? Anxiety built in the Butler’s young Master and he nearly sat up in bed, before he was almost conveniently, preemptively interrupted again.

“My Lord, you are taking an extraordinarily long time getting to sleep… Shall I get you another blanket? If you do not sleep soon, you shall be so tired tomorrow. I will have to alter the schedule.”

“Another blanket, then.”

His Butler swiftly made his way to the closet, he took out a heavy blanket and tucked it up around the youth’s chin, just as he had done before. The Servant took a lot of care to make sure it was covering his Master completely. “The winters are cold, sir, I know.”

“That will be all, thank you. You may go, now.” The extra comfort and care, this surely meant he was either mocking him or concerned the lack of sleep would make him unwell enough to neglect his duties as Earl of Phantomhive. This was more than enough to change his mind about letting his servant stay until he fell asleep. ‘It would be better to sort this out on my own,’ Ciel’s thoughts mulled in his head.

“Are you sure Master? My Lord I must tell you, it is important that you get enough sleep, I would hate to see you so tired tomorrow. You know what they say about young people your age– I imagine you need quite a bit of sleep. I’m afraid I’ve been neglecting you in that area.”

This had finally struck a thick chord with the young Earl. “That will be all Sebastian.”

“My Lord,” Suddenly, his Butler’s looming gaze was almost directly over his own. This caused Ciel to open his eyes in a startled manner as he heard his Butler’s words, “I’m afraid I must insist.”

Tension filled the room once again, and Ciel couldn’t help but wonder if Sebastian was reading his thoughts.

“Would you like me to repeat myself.”

“Master if you don’t mind my saying so, you are acting rather strangely.”

“It’s a simple matter. I cannot sleep. I haven’t been sleeping– at least not well, and I don’t know why. If you’re worried just cancel my lessons tomorrow.”

“Consider it done My Lord. I was to fill in for your tutor, regardless. Perhaps some milk to help you sleep? Need I re-warm your sheets?”

“No. I am fine. You WILL go, and that is an order.”

“Yes, My Lord.” With that Sebastian bowed, took up the up the candelabra once again, and proceeded to take his leave for the night. However as he did so, he paused in the doorway for some parting words, “Master. When sleep finally manages to reach you, I do wish you… the most pleasant dreams.”

Ciel’s eyes both widened as Sebastian said those words, as they were spoken the door shut gently, leaving Ciel in complete darkness. The last time his unholy Butler wished him pleasant dreams, things did not turn out so nice. Was he planning something, or was this merely sleepless madness?

The young Earl sat up and crawled hastily out of bed. Whichever it was, the youth refused to go to sleep.

After a few hours of tidying up the manor, Sebastian later returned to his Earl’s room, merely to check on him as he often did during the night. He found that his Master was not sound asleep in his bed, and this would not do.

”…My Lord?“ Just to be absolutely sure, his Butler pulled the sheets up from the bed, and then looked around the room carefully for anything that might be suspicious. "Master…. My Master where have you gone I wonder…?” Sebastian remained completely calm as he wandered down the hallway to look for his young Earl.

The Butler sighed softly with a hand over his heart as he took out a robe for the boy. He held it by his side as he scanned the entire Mansion for him, leaving no room overlooked. Where could he be? Barefoot and in nothing but a nightshirt on a cold Winter’s night...

A sudden sound of something delicate made of glass being broken on a hard surface in a room somewhere close by made Sebastian cock his head. The sound was followed by his young Master’s voice.

“DASH IT ALL!”

Almost instantly, his Butler entered the room and appeared before him. In a fanciful motion he swept the broken glass into his hand, somehow he managed to dispose of it in less than a blink of an eye. He stood in front of Ciel, for just a moment to give him a very light and knowing smile, glad to have found him. It was almost like they had been playing hide-and-seek.

Ciel was startled upon seeing him, he had just begun to kneel to pick up what he had broken. The youth quickly tried to force the fear and embarrassment out of his own expression, but it is too late. Any moment now, he would be mocked or teased for wandering around like a lost ghost, and also for breaking an antique when he bumped into it. Ciel could almost predict it.

It was almost worse when the teasing did not come. “No need to worry young Master. Here, I thought you might make use of this robe.” Without another word he placed it around Ciel’s shoulders.

“Sebastian, what is the time?” Ciel forced himself to sound as steady as possible. He did not owe anyone any explanations, and his Butler had to respect him at all times. Of course it shouldn’t be out of the ordinary for his Butler not to tease him. The youth clutched the robe closer around himself, he found he was extremely cold, now that it was brought to his attention.

Sebastian flipped open his pocket watch. “The time is Four Seventeen AM. It is the early morning of your birth. December 14th.”

Of course. Now it all made sense. Ciel had lost track of time so badly he had neglected to remember his own birthday this year. How could a day like today have crept up on him so quickly?

“Then the sun will rise soon. I will take my bath.”

“Of course my Lord, come with me.” His Butler placed a hand lightly on his Master’s shoulder to guide him to the bathroom. As they walked, they passed a large window and faint blue light illuminated the room. Ciel’s pale legs and feet stood out obviously against the dark, carpeted floors. “Well look at that, Master. Your toes must be chilled. Allow me.” His Butler picked up the Earl, and carried him the rest of the way to the bathroom. Ciel was growing dizzy, almost. Memories of his past on top of the sleepless nights were too much. Whether it was his imagination or if Sebastian really was acting strangely, or else, trying to be kinder in his current state… it didn’t matter. He lacked the energy to care.

Ciel’s eyes dulled slightly as he is carried, at the moment feeling rather foolish. Foolish for panicking before bothering to consider the possibility a specific time of year… that day, could be the cause of all of this. This was the reason why he couldn’t sleep, why his anxiety was so bad and why his Butler’s behavior was so odd. It was so clear now… so obvious.  
Sebastian took a lot of care to make sure the bath was just the right temperature for his Master.

He was set down carefully as his Butler removed a glove in his usual manner, biting the tip of the middle finger of the garment and slipping it off as it remained hanging a moment in his mouth. His butler carefully dipped his finger in into the water, checking it. “… My sincerest apologies, It is a pinch too cold.” In a matter of seconds, the servant managed to produce a silver cauldron of hot water, adding it to the bath to correct the temperature.

Ciel managed a soft sigh as the robe and nightshirt were carefully removed from his body. He longed to feel the hot water. The youths nose, toes and fingers may as well be made of ice. “… Tell me today’s schedule, I wish to go over it once more.”

Sebastian smiled, though this time, it was not half as mischievous or particular as it was before. He took Ciel’s hand before he answered his question, taking care to exhale soft but HOT breath on his icy fingers. His breath was extremely warm, too warm to pass for human. “We wouldn’t want you to going numb in your bath now, would we?”

Ciel just blushed in a flustered manner, it was the only reaction he could muster for a few seconds. The warmth did feel good on his hand, but it was unexpected. No, it was unseemly! He couldn’t expect him to answer that question, and not to mention, he is standing naked. “… Don’t be absurd. And never do that again.”

His butler chuckled lowly before proceeding to to speak, “… Apologies, My Lord. Well, with the cancellation of your violin lesson, and the recent cancellation of the duke’s visit, absolutely nothing is taking place, Master. The day is yours. The public appearance has also been canceled, due to the snow.“

At first, Ciel seemed cross to hear this. "Now how can that–” However, as soon as he turned his head and took a good look out the window, he realized that it was snowing. Yes, was snowing rather hard, in fact. When did it start? “…I see.”

“Yes, I can understand your disappointment, but it is simply far too cumbersome, this weather. Rest assured, I shall keep you entertained.”

Before Ciel could remark, he was lifted and placed into the bath water.

“I am capable of climbing into a bathtub myself!” The way he was placed into the tub reminded him of the way his Butler had tucked him into bed before.

"Master, if you’ll allow me to say so…”

Ciel tried to calm himself. Judging by the tone in his Servant's voice, he could only assume what he had to say must have been important.

“Today should not be a sad day. It is the day, years ago that if never taken place, you and I would have never aligned. You do realize that, don’t you? That day commemorates the promise of revenge. Which you will have. I can assure this.”

What a bold thing to say. If this had been a year earlier, Ciel would have struck Sebastian across the face for saying such things. How dare he suggest what happened that day to be seen in a positive way. His servant should be humiliated, punished!

It was extremely odd. The outrage and offense Ciel was anticipating, didn’t come. In fact, he felt very much at ease. Almost as if he were given a sincere compliment. Why? Had the young Master gone mad?

Ciel Phantomhive allowed a very, very long drawn out pause of silence before responding to the statement. He leaned backward into the bath, allowing his back to rest against the curve of the tub.

“….Yes. I suppose that’s one way to look at it.” The boy tilted his head against the bathtub’s edge and waited for Sebastian to get on with washing him.

His Butler removed his other glove and rolled up his sleeves, proceeding to scrub his young Master clean. For all the strength that his hands contained, they were always careful to be gentle on the noble’s skin.

“…What was put into this water. It smells nice…”

"It’s vanilla oil that you smell, My Lord. Something comforting, to help you rest.”

“…I see.” The young Earl lightly stirred some of the water with his fingers, knowing full well that couldn’t be the whole truth. Vanilla oil was in this water but there was definitely something else. Something faint but so familiar, somehow.

“Arms up My Lord, very good. Does the scent of the water please you?”

“…Yes. I daresay, it does…” Ciel complied with Sebastian’s instructions so he could be washed properly, but after a while, he was allowed to soak at his leisure as his Butler rolled his sleeves back down and placed his gloves back on his hands.

“… My Lord, what might I prepare you for breakfast? …My Lord?”

The young Master had fallen fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid confusion: This does take place after Season II canon, settings and circumstances will become more explanatory as the story goes on.
> 
> Edit: A HUGE and forever thank you to the amazing Chromehoplite for willing to beta this chapter. ♥︎♥︎♥︎ They are an extremely talented writer please give their kuro stories a read if you have the chance.


	2. His Master, Dreaming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past few nights have been stressful and confusing. All the young Master wants to do is sleep peacefully to defeat the insomnia that plagues him. However, with such an attentive Butler following him wherever he goes, even into his very dreams-- rest does not seem possible.

The Butler carefully placed his Master into his bed for much needed sleep.

"Oh Master, your slumber is so becoming of you. Please sleep soundly.“ The Servant took care to cover the youth up to his chin with the bed-covers, smiling to himself as he took time to gaze upon the young lord Phantomhive.

For several long minutes Sebastian watched his young master sleep. Ciel’s expressionless face somehow made him look much more like a child, and less like the adult he tried so hard to be. His Butler seemed just a bit sad for him, knowing how difficult his life was at the present moment.

"One day My Lord, all of the wretchedness of life will fade into my hands, I shall take that pain away from you and your soul shall become part of mine. You will rest in the safest hands knowing that you have been avenged, and you can leave all of this behind you.” He reached a curled finger to lightly stroke Ciel’s cheek.

It was just at this moment, his young master became restless, shifting about in his sleep as his expression changed to that of uneasiness.

“What is this, oh dear.” Sebastian chuckled as his eyes began to glow a bright red hue, bringing himself closer to the slender boy’s forehead. With his unholy power, he entered deep into Ciel’s dreams without a second thought.

“As promised, My Lord, I shall follow you everywhere… even into your dreams.”

Ciel stood in a dark, clouded area in wide-eyed confusion.

“…Sebastian?!” The youth turned and tried to grasp something familiar.

“Yes, Master?”

“…What is this… Where am I?”

“I cannot be sure Master. I do not control this place, you do.”

“What nonsense, show yourself! This is no time for games!”

“My Lord, how can I enter if you cannot even turn on the light…? How on Earth do you expect me show myself if you cannot even see me.”

“There IS no light to be had!” The short tempered boy started toward the direction of the voice and suddenly tripped over an over-sized rocking horse. Suddenly the surroundings changed, Ciel found himself in an old and familiar nursery he could just barely remember. Every toy was over-sized, proportionate to Ciel’s current height so he could still play with them as though he were still a very young child.

“Sebastian! What is this, what have you done!”

His Butler smiled, taking the blame even though it was in no way his fault, and appeared before Ciel in the room. He held a lit candelabra to assist with the poor lighting.

“I see… does a part of you miss all the childhood things you once held dear, Master? It must have been hard to lose your material personal things, just as well as your parents.”

Ciel frowned, he wasn’t happy at all. All of these toys, his old room, this nursery… it was the only room in the new mansion that was not replicated to be exactly like the old one. The young master had insisted upon that. There was no need to replace all of his old childish relics.

"I want all of these things put away at ONCE, where did you find them?!”

“…My Lord. I cannot put these things away.” To demonstrate what he meant, his Butler reached for a nearby model of a sailboat, only to have his hand pass right through it. “This is your dream… your desire, not my own.”

A bright blush appeared in Ciel’s cheeks. His Master looked truly embarrassed by this. Knowing Sebastian got a glimpse into anything he was suppressing emotionally never made him too pleased. Surely, he would see this as a weakness. Ciel’s voice was raised due to his mild humiliation.

“A dream! A dream perhaps, but NOT my desire.” He squeezed his eyes shut and clutched at his hair. Wake up, Ciel.

“Why else would one dream up these things, My Lord? It is nothing to be ashamed of. You are, first and foremost a child. A child worthy of child-like things.”

His young Master’s eyes flashed open and were red in hue.

That was not at all what he wanted to hear. Swiftly without a single word he began grabbing each toy from his early childhood.

One by one, he began to tear, trample, smash, destroy, and completely rip them all apart. He did not stop to even catch his breath until he was sure they were ruined.

Ciel was not a child to be trifled with, nor a child to be teased.

“Master Please… do not…not for my sake…” His Butler’s face fell and he looked genuinely saddened by Ciel’s wrath. It was normally not something his young Master would do if he were awake. At least, not likely. Yet here he was, in his own subconscious throwing a tantrum and destroying his cherished childhood toys. All out of fear of appearing weak and having his pride wounded.

Sebastian tilted his head, his brows arched in an expression of pity.

“SHUT UP!” There was a loud swish of a cane followed by a deafening crack as he smashed an entire model train set. He was breathing heavily, if this had been reality he might have given himself an asthma attack.

“But, Master…”

“I DO NOT NEED THESE THINGS!” He picked up an object and held it high, with the intention of throwing it to the floor to be broken like the rest. However, Ciel seemed to have a change of heart upon realizing which toy this was. His young Master paused to carefully turn the object in his hands. “This is…”

It was a toy model of Noah’s Arc. This particular toy he spent much time with in his youth, perhaps the most time with above the rest of his toys. Memories of this Arc and playing with it came to his mind. Happier memories of himself and his cousin when life was carefree and he knew no sorrow.

How Ciel longed for those times. This arc was a precious gift from his father. The dream caused many of these memories to become visible, they faded into view almost like a projection on a screen, and then faded out of view as quick as they came.

Sebastian stood over Ciel and peered down at him in a stoic manner, not speaking any word nor passing any judgment by what he had seen. The moment their eyes met was strange, and almost surreal. When their eyes met it was clear that Ciel was truly influenced by what he believed was Sebastian’s opinion of him.

His young Master’s expression knotted up and tensed as though he were perhaps about to begin weeping any moment. There was obviously something he was struggling to hold inside.

“This meant alot to you, did it not, young Master…?”

“…Yes.”

Sebastian tried to speak very carefully to Ciel, choosing his words as wisely as he could. What people said and did in dreams rarely if ever accurately represented what they would do or say in real life. His Master was in an extremely vulnerable state, this he knew.

"Now Master. I understand your sadness, but crying over what cannot be changed will not do.” His Butler knelt next to him elegantly, and closed his eyes in reverence. “…If you cannot take refuge here, then take refuge in the contract that binds us. I cannot take this pain away, nor can I change the fate of those already dead. But I can make possible that which you need to be satisfied in your life, so long as the payment at the end of your life is made.”

“…I know that already you…don’t need to remind me…”

“It is alright Master. It’s hard to understand. Why indeed humans are made, given your senses, only to be tormented by the very nature of those very senses… I cannot explain to you why evils happen to children. Nor can I explain why they continue to happen. But rest assured: you have me through all your times of anguish. I do not know what comfort a demon can be, if nothing more, I understand your pain.”

“You sound like you’re talking about what’s on tonight’s menu.”

His Butler’s eyes opened and he stood up, not sure how to respond to that reaction. This was a time when Sebastian was making an attempt to connect with him, but it didn’t appear to work. Ciel smirked to himself, and as calm as anything he gently placed the Arc upon the floor of the Nursery.

The Earl’s eyes lifted from it and gazed straight ahead, his face now back to it’s usual dull, expressionless state it was usually in.

His Butler couldn’t help but frown just slightly, but before he could wonder if maybe he was not as forward about what he was trying to say, his young Master stomped down hard upon the toy that had brought him such emotions.

 

The Arc shattered it into a thousand useless wood splitters. His Butler’s eyes widened quite a bit upon this; he wasn’t expecting him to destroy this toy.

“Master…”

The Noble boy adjusted his sleeves, turned on his heel and began to walk away from the wreckage as if nothing at all had occurred. He walked on, towards the dark abyss that made up the rest of his dream: which was nothing but that… darkness.

“Such ridiculous nonsense. I will wake up soon. People like me don’t have time to dwell on foolish things like ‘pleasant dreams.’ Especially of things past. They are an utter waste of time. I am Ciel Phantomhive, first and foremost…I will eliminate anything that slows me down, even for a second.”

“As you wish, My Young Lord…”

Ciel’s awakening was abrupt, he sat up quickly and was met by the sight of his Butler just entering the room with a cart loaded with beautifully prepared foods. It was morning. Sebastian seemed to have a very cheerful demeanor.

“Good Morning, Master.” His servant opened the curtains to let the sunshine into the room, of course he would not mention what he had seen in his dreams. His Butler would carry on as though it never happened.

Ciel sat up slowly, already doing his best to forget about what he had dreamt only a few hours ago.

“…Good morning.” Always, there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Today I have prepared you a light pansy and poppy seed bread, sprinkled with powdered sugar and toasted lightly with an egg and berry soak. I have brought you fresh milk, and fruit as well.”

“How bad is the snow outside?” The Master was expectant and normal with his morning routine, it would seem.

“I would say several inches my lord. Far too cold to be going out.”

“Then today’s schedule…?”

“I have prepared some activities for today, as not to keep you disillusioned, My Lord. But I am afraid that Finnian, Maylene, and Bard shall be attending to you. I have some business to take care of outside of the mansion, but don’t despair, I have made all the preparations.”

“Business?” He scoffed before preparing to eat his breakfast, “What business could you possibly have.”

“My Lord, you wound me. I can assure you it wont take long, unless of course you order me to stay. Then of course you know, I must stay. I should hope however… you would not miss me too terribly much.” He grinned at him and ended the sentence with a mildly seductive tone.

“Idiot.” Ciel blushed brightly at the words and refused to ask anything more about it, eating his breakfast angrily. This was of course exactly what his Butler wanted.

Much to his young Master’s displeasure, he had to make due without him for the rest of the day. In fact, seemed to be most of the night as well. Sebastian had not yet returned long after the sun had set and Ciel began to grow anxious as he prepared to fall asleep.

‘Where is he… what could he possibly be up to. I’m such a fool, I shouldn’t have let him go at all. But I’m not about to call him back now, not without a good reason.’ The noble boy allowed his mind to wander as he waited for sleep to take him.

’…If he is not back in the morning, then I will call him back and make him. If he wants my soul so badly, he should NOT be slacking off. How dare he just take a vacation!’

The youth grunted aloud and rolled over hard against a pillow, and tried to force himself to sleep.

Amazingly, it worked.

His Butler silently stepped forward from a dark corner of the room and made his way over to his young Master. A dark mist surrounded the one he called Sebastian. Large, long black wings folded closely to his form and he smiled and began to chuckle lowly… He began to speak in a voice Ciel had never quite, truly heard before.

“Now then… young Master…”

His unholy Butler outstretched a clawed hand over his Master’s eye.

When Ciel next opened his eyes he found himself resting in a bath of water with almost perfect temperature. The surroundings were too dark to see, but he felt as though he was resting in his own familiar bathtub. It was his bathtub, wasn’t it? Why did something somehow feel wrong. He could not quite recall how he got into the bath in the first place. Maybe it was time to call Sebastian.

“…Se…”

“Too hot, young Master?”

Ciel heard his voice but he couldn’t tell where it was coming from. In the water he felt an instant shift in the temperature and then, it was perfect. Ciel felt at ease, and couldn’t help but want to lean against something. The youth leaned back and much to his horror he realized there was someone else inside the tub.

A hand suddenly cupped over his mouth… or something like a hand.

“You know, Master…” His hushed voice was directly into his ear and Ciel again felt an overwhelming sense of dread. “I’d like to politely point out to you that even Butler’s eventually receive some sort of payment for their services. I am your Butler, afterall; not a slave.”

Ciel tried to struggle or scream but he was rendered completely helpless. His mind was suddenly completely fogged, and he felt powerless. He could not see an inch in front of his own face and in his panic he wasn’t even sure if he felt he was inside his own body, and this was actually happening.

“He’s going to eat my soul!”

“No, no dear child, it’s not your soul I am after. It’s been such a long time, come now, can’t you remember anything? Forgive my impatience but deep down, we both know how this is going to end up. There must be something I can do to jog your memory…”

The noble boy wanted nothing more then to give his servant a good hard slap in the face. It was funny, he had been feeling that way fairly often lately. But then something inside him finally occurred to him.

This was just a dream.

Ciel felt something gentle on his bare neck, and a long inhuman hand brush down his stomach towards his thighs. Another hand uncupped his mouth and swept underneath his chin to tilt back his head. Before he could protest, he felt his mouth meet his servant’s in what felt like a passionate kiss.

This is just a dream.

Ciel brought a trembling, hesitant hand to reach back and feel the face of whom was kissing him. The flesh was inhuman, but far from unpleasant. It was almost hot to the touch, but not quite enough to leave a burn behind. This skin, it felt so soft.

'This is just a dream… is this really okay, though… can I really do this.’

“Yes, Ciel… of course you can…”

The young Master’s heart skipped when he realized this dream-Sebastian could read his thoughts. The fact he could hear his voice in spite of the fact he was clearly kissing him, was proof to him that this was just a dream. This was a dream, and nothing more.

'Sebastian…’ Ciel pulled away only to adjust himself, he wanted to face his Butler. The slender youth pressed closer to the figure and took care to wrap his arms tightly around the servant he had come to rely on so much. Ciel kissed him again, daring even to wrap a leg around whatever part of him he could in the darkness.

The kisses where returned, and Ciel felt a hand run down his back followed by the most sinful bliss. He moaned shamelessly into his servants mouth, it felt indescribable to finally have what he dared to want, along with revenge.

In his dark, hate filled heart, Ciel longed to be embraced by his dark servant. It was without a doubt his darkest desire. No matter how sinful it had to be, he no longer cared, at least not inside his own dream.

His Butler pressed on Ciel and urged him to lay down on his back in the bathtub… but the tub was no longer there. Their surroundings changed, and now Ciel felt he was laying against a plush, enormous pile of what felt like satin with his beloved Sebastian hovering over him.

“Now my lord…just try to relax…”

Ciel shivered at the words.

“Se…bast…ti..an…”

He felt warm lips kiss down his torso very slowly, trailing past his belly button…

“Ah…ah!”

The demon chuckled as his lips found something else much more interesting to explore.

“I-… Ah…!”

"Sebastian!” With a sudden start Ciel suddenly sat up with a great shout in his bed. He blinked in confusion into the blinding light, sunlight and the reflection from the white snow outside nearly blinded him and for several seconds he was left in a baffled haze. Those blasted servants forgot to close the curtains! Where was Sebastian!? Had he returned?

Ciel’s face flushed as he pulled back the sheets and looked at the sticky wet spot on his nightshirt and bed sheets. "Damn it…”

Oh he had been dreaming, alright. His eyes shifted around and knew he had to act fast if he wanted to save any of his pride, his Butler would come in at any given moment.

The noble boy looked furious at himself. Quickly, he snatched up all the sheets and anything tainted by his own fluid that he could find, and promptly stuffed them under his bed in a flustered manner. Footsteps in the hallway caught his attention, and immediately ran to his bedroom door and locked it.

The handle jiggled and there was a polite knock on the door. “…Young Master?”

“Go away! I– I’m not feeling well. I want to rest!” It did not sound the most convincing, but it wasn’t Sebastian’s job to question him.

“Goodness. The young Master, taken ill…? I must tend to you immediately my lord, with all due respect, you should not fear that you would pass on such illnesses to me.”

“Fine! But come back a bit later! That’s an order!”

“Yes, my lord. As you wish. Later.”

Sebastian could not help but smirk as he walked away from his Young Master’s Bedroom door.

As soon as Ciel believed he was gone, he ran into his closet and with much wrestling and intense effort, he managed to remove his nightshirt and find another to put on. He discarded the old shirt to the floor and managed to put on the new garment inside-out.

When he stepped back into the room and crawled back into bed, he let out a startled cry. The bed sheets had been replaced when his back was turned, the old shirt was gone, and the door was open. Sebastian was standing in the room with a wide, proud smile.

“SEBASTIAN, God damn you I said LATER!”

“Ah, but you did not specify how much later. According to my pocket-watch, it’s been five minutes exactly. Treatment is vital to recovery, Master. If I allowed my Master to suffer an illness without changing his sheets and preparing a light soup, then what kind of Butler would I be?”

“Very well then! Give me the soup and then GO away!” Ciel’s face reddened, the dream that he had was still incredibly vivid and it lingered around him. The youth never had this kind of a dream before, though he was familiar enough with what it was. Somehow he had convinced himself that those sorts of things just wouldn’t happen to him; such things were beneath him. At least, that’s what he had believed. His brow furrowed and he told himself the small stains on his sheets would go unnoticed by Sebastian, most likely. It was fine to relax.

Sebastian set up a tray to rest on the young Earl’s lap and placed a hot bowl of soup upon it. He dipped a spoon lightly into the soup and held the utensil close to his young Master’s mouth. Ciel couldn’t help but redden just the slightest bit more, Sebastian was unnecessarily close to him. Why.

“Here,” This butler brought the spoon closer still to his mouth, and leaned even nearer to his face. The expression he wore looked devious and he smiled in a teasing way. “…Blow.”

“…” Tension instantly filled the room and he glared at Sebastian, blowing gently at the liquid and taking the spoon into his mouth.

“Too hot, Young Master?”

Ciel’s eyes widened at the words. The words were too similar, too exact in the way they were spoken to be just a coincidence. His servant said the same thing to him in the dream.

The youth then realized, these dreams he had been having. Surely had to have been more than just his own imagination. Sebastian was a demon, afterall.

Ciel stood up suddenly, it was almost comical as hot soup flew in all directions as he bolted right out of the room.

“Master...? Oh dear."

The Butler placed a hand over his chest and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Things are starting to get a bit more spicy at this point, and there will likely be more spice later on. However, know that smut and spice aren't the sole purpose of this story. 
> 
> Just one quick thing to keep in mind, most of this fic was written several years ago but I've decided to fix it up and change the direction of it. There might be a few mistakes here and there and I'll catch them if I can. Thank you for understanding!
> 
> Edit: Again a special thank you to Chromehoplite for willing to beta this chapter. Please read their work, they deserve all the kudos in the world! ♥︎♥︎♥︎


	3. His Master, Disagreeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel is displeased with his Butler for crossing a personal boundary. So for the moment, the mysteries surrounding his sleep-troubles and memory lapses are put on hold. Will Master and Servant be able to go back normal after... that?

“We don’t know wot’ to do, Sebastian!”

“He’s been in there for two hours, yes he has!”

“Maylene, Finnian thank you I can take it from here, you are dismissed.” 

The tall Butler sighed as the two servants scuttled off. Sebastian took extra car to knock gently upon the door. “Master…? Master, come now. Do open the door.”

“Go away.”

“Master, please. I cannot help if I don’t know why you are upset. Let’s not be a pill…”

His young master scoffed in reply. ‘Listen to him acting so innocent, that bastard.’ Ciel longed to curse at him aloud, but managed to refrain from doing so. The youth couldn’t risk giving Sebastian the satisfaction of getting on his nerves. Instead, he simply adjusted the gramophone to play much more loudly, drowning out any sounds from outside the study which he locked himself in. 

Ciel would come out when he was good and ready, and not a minute sooner. That was all there was to it.

“Very well, Young Master.” 

His Butler decided at the present moment it was best to let his young Master sulk, and go about his business. Oddly enough, it worked. By four o’ clock, Ciel had emerged. 

The youth walked carefully down the hall when he happened to cross paths with his Butler. Right away, Sebastian knew one of the other servants must have dressed him, his buttons and ties were full of flaws. This was annoying, along with the fact that Ciel had been attended to by the other servants at all. His Master must have called them in order to be fed, and dressed. This was an occurrence so rare it had only happened once or twice, always when his Butler was following other orders given by his Master, or when Sebastian was away. 

This left Sebastian a little uneasy and he raised both eyebrows, leering at his young Master with half-lidded eyes. 

“I’ll take my tea in the drawing room today.”

“Of course Master. I have acquired some fine Japanese tea, if you would like to try it.”

“That will be fine. I will call you when I want it.”

“A shame, your trim isn’t properly pressed.” The perfectionist inside the Butler couldn’t resist after all. His servant knelt before his Master and began to adjust his clothing, starting with the youth’s shoe-laces. 

“…Completely inappropriate for fine Noble… there we are…” Finally after tucking a few ruffles in his intricate sleeves and collar, his young Master looked pristine again. 

The boy held his head high, deciding to allow him to make the corrections in his clothing. “…I never select my outfits, you know that. I’m no judge of such things.”

“Of course Master, I have dressed you these past several years. I assure you my lord, I do try to keep you looking your best. Every morning I iron your jacket, press your tails and collar, steam your socks and polish your shoes, gloss your buttons and cane… I can tell when you are not properly dressed.”

“…So you can.” 

“Yes, my young master.” His Butler went the extra mile and flattened out Ciel’s socks, using his hands against his calves to smooth them. “There… perfection. Nothing else should suit you.”

The Noble boy’s face flushed just the slightest bit upon hearing that. Oh, it’s those remarks that make it difficult to act like last night never happened. That was his plan, anyway. To act as though nothing at all had changed between them. 

Though it seemed Sebastian was keen on showing off and wasn’t finished speaking. 

“I take care to keep my gloves clean, as not to dirty your fine clothes. I take care not leave finger prints on your buttons, you understand.” He placed his hand over his heart and bowed to him. “I live to serve my Master, you have provided the payment, and as such you deserve the utmost professional and tender care. If I couldn’t give you that well…. What kind of butler would I be?”

And there it is, that cunning, secretive smile that seems like a smirk in disguise.

“Very well said, Sebastian. You serve me well. You are no doubt worth the price I paid for.” There is a pause and the young Earl closes his eyes. “…Rather, promised to pay for.”

“One day when I fulfill my promise to you, of course. Until that day, I shall pay you the respect your sacrifice deserves. Sorrowful, bitter souls like you, are much more satisfying… But still, I wish you contentment for the time being.”

Ciel seemed to be unaffected by the words. If Sebastian was trying to butter him up or flatter him, it wasn’t about to work! “I’m going to the drawing room now actually, I will take my tea now.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Ten minutes later his Butler brought in a cart with an elegant tea set. He prepared the tea, and steeped it properly front of him, “I have prepared you a Barely Scone with some marmalade drizzle and apricot purée.” 

“Japanese tea, with a Barely Scone.” Ciel’s tone was judgmental, but none-the-less he took the cup and took one long, careful sip of the tea. Did Sebastian… lie to him? No, he never lied. Yet, this did not taste like any Japanese brew, or any brew he had ever tasted. Whatever it was, it was delicious though. 

Sebastian seemed to be watching him closely. Once he saw Ciel take a sip, he seemed pleased. “I shall order some more of this variety, If it pleases my master. I know the combination seems unusual, but you’ll find the flavors quite compliment one another. The Japanese quite enjoy this tea accompanied with sweets.” 

"This is an excellent brew in particular.”

His Butler smiled and took a his place by his side, as usual, he never left unannounced and only took leave when his Master dismissed him. “Also sir, I am saving some other sweets for you, but they are to be consumed after dinner.”

“What sort of sweets might they be.”

“Some home made tortes, and a small cake …as well as a sampling of some Funtom candies, fresh in from the factory. Tanaka assures me you will be pleased.”

“I have been meaning to sample them. I will take them now.”

“Master, I am afraid you have not yet eaten supper. I have made a lovely roast lamb, I would regret letting you spoil your dinner.”

“… Fine. After dinner.”

“Very good, Young Master.”

Sebastian let his smile linger just a bit too long. Ciel’s discreet body language suggested that the youth might just be a little sore because he was not freely given the candy. Of course, he would never admit such things. If Ciel had ordered or demanded it, of course he would have to give it to him. It amused Sebastian very much. Lately… it gave him a strange sense of pride that on the extremely rare occasions, Ciel listened to Sebastian and trusted him to know what was best for him. 

To put it simply, it was a small sign of respect from the Earl and he liked it. 

“What is my schedule tomorrow, if you will kindly tell me.”

“You will be having dinner with the factory president overseeing production and product design in Germany. He would like your opinion on some prototypes and goods.” The smile returned to his Butlers face, and he slowly took out a large dish of candy from under the cloth of the cart. “Perhaps a few won’t hurt my lord, hm?”

Ciel’s eyes snapped open, and his expression was rather sour. This caught Sebastian off his guard. Goodness, he only wanted to spoil him a little bit. Why was his Master reacting this way?

“You are going to tempt me after you scold me for wanting them, are you. Careful, Sebastian. I will indulge myself where ever proper etiquette allows it.” 

Sebastian’s eyes instantly narrowed. He watched as Ciel carefully took a piece of hard candy and unwrapped it tensely. The youth proceeded to slowly, very slowly bring it to his lips. Ciel brought it close to his mouth and licked it once with a slow flick of the tongue, his blue eyes never leaving Sebastian’s. Not even to blink. 

The Noble boy wasn’t just talking about the candy. His words seemed enticing and yet and for lack of better words, he seemed pretty angry. 

“Master…”

“I am a Phantomhive. We Phantomhives are never to be tormented, or teased.”

“I do not seek to torment you.”

The Earl clutched the candy harder in his fingers and continued to stare at him intensely. 

“No matter the circumstance, by any means. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes Master. Perfectly clear.” Sebastian bowed immediately. “Sir, I ask your forgiveness for my attempt to undermine you, I was unaware I had displeased you.”

“I would assume, Sebastian, that after our agreement it was understood. To put it simply, I am not one who forgives blindly or easily when unpleasant things occur. I am extremely vengeful, would you not agree? If someone seeks to tease me, or torment me, then I seek to get even with them. I think you understand that better than anyone.” Ciel’s eyes became partly closed and his stare instantly intensified. 

Sebastian did not move his head just yet, but he raised his eyes to glance up at Ciel. His once blue eyes were now a shining crimson red. The candy just barely touched his lower lip, and he began licking it very slowly and repeatedly with his tongue. It was an impish, suggestive display.

Sebastian raised his chin a bit, pausing, and then rose to an upright position. Was this Ciel’s way of getting even, teasing him? Was this a game? Sebastian’s eyes reddened and glistened back at the boy. 

“…Was it unpleasant for you Master.” He knew dropping the double-meanings and outright admitting what he had done would invoke a response in the youth. 

“You want to talk about it, fine. Let’s talk about it. I will thank you, BUTLER, to stay out of my dreams.” The Earl stopped licking the candy. The tone of his voice was extremely angry. 

His Butlers eyes narrowed further. “Of course Master. I simply thought it more appropriate, than to share your bed. Dreams, as you mentioned, allow indulgence where proper etiquette allows it.”

“If you will recall! I SAID, EARLIER that a person like me had no time nor NEED for dreams. I don’t think it can GET much clearer then THAT.” 

Sebastian leaned forward and spoke lowly.

“Ah, understood my lord, but let me point out: NEED is no basis for desire. I am not contracted to fulfill people’s needs. And you do have ample time to dream, as you sleep each night. Of course, I can take care of the aftermath.”

Ciel’s eyes widened in shock and he stood up, appalled by the words coming from his servants mouth. The ‘aftermath’, which was assumed to be Ciel’s soiled sheets, were the result of the dreams Sebastian had invaded, nothing more! He didn’t expect him to bring that up, how dare he. 

His Butler continued, “And I would much rather not take time out of your busy schedule in your waking hours.”

“I’ll make this clear for you. From this day forth. I will have Maylene, Finnian or perhaps even Tanaka take care of my morning AND evening routines.” As soon as the young Earl finished the sentence, he promptly popped the candy into his mouth and crunched down. 

Sebastian glared and spoke back at him with a sickeningly sweet tone, “Of course, Master. then you certainly won’t mind if I take the morning and evenings for my personal enjoyment?”

Ciel was truly a Noble, he would never talk with his mouth open. As soon as he was done angrily chewing the candy, he spoke. “…Of COURSE not, WHY would that inconvenience anyone? I don’t care. So long as you obey ALL of my orders and stay the HELL out of my DREAMS!” 

“Excellent. Then I shall be going out. But you do know master, I would gladly do it again.”

That did it. One of them was bound to lose their cool, and it happened to be Ciel. The youth SLAMMED his cane down on the chart, rattling and upsetting the entire tea set with a loud crash. 

“LEARN TO BITE YOUR TOUNGE! I will NOT have that kind of TALK! I am NOT to be disrespected or TEASED!”

“Master there is no need for that.”

“How many times do I have to make it clear to you!”

“Forgive me master. I apologize.”

“Just GET OUT, you FILTHY creature! How DARE YOU imply I enjoyed even a MOMENT of it.”

“Yes, my Lord. I apologize. Call me if you need anything else.“

*

A week passed, and it passed by slowly. Ciel’s stubbornness and refusal to bring up the disagreement again accompanied with Sebastian’s terms of the contract had lead them to fall back into their 'normal’ routine. Normal, with the exception of Sebastian’s absence in the morning and at night as Ciel was prepared for bed. Neither made any effort to talk about it. 

However, there were other happenings that Ciel could not ignore. Ciel’s terrible insomnia had returned strongly since their fight. Gradually, each night thereafter, Ciel could literally count himself losing an hour of sleep each night. By the end of the week, he wasn’t sure he was sleeping at night at all. It was beginning to interfere with his well-being, in which case, the youth knew he would have to ask Sebastian for help. 

The contract always contained some kind of loophole that in the end, as much as Ciel wanted to fight it, seemed to bring them close in proximity again. Even if the sight of his Butler made his blood boil, Sebastian wasn’t the kind of servant he could keep away and only call when he needed him. His Butler was always drawn back so he could remain at his side. 

The young Earl tried his best on his own for as long as he could manage, but the only thing that seemed to sooth his nerves in the long, late hours was to sit at his desk and write with a late night cup of tea. He had horrible anxiety as of late, and no idea why. He thought it would get better but the last decent night’s sleep he had was… 

No, he could not allow his mind wander back to that night. They were going to put it behind them. It never happened. 

The young Earl continued to write: A talent he never knew he had up until late in the previous year. It was his secret, until much to his dismay his Butler found out on accident– stumbling upon his collection of artistic, dark stories and poetry.

Ciel was humiliated, but managed to get over it, as long as Sebastian never said a word to anyone about his hidden hobby. 

Ciel was at an interesting, rather tragic climax of his tale, '…as she watched the man she loved so dearly her gaze became longing as he bowed to the guillotine… In one flash of reflecting light the device had served it’s purpose. Mignonette without a moments hesitation came to him in his last fleeting moments of consciousness– the crowd silenced by her confession and dying wish, bringing their lips to meet in one first and final kiss. Letrell smiled as he passed. No one dared stop her, she kissed his lips and held her lovers beloved head… Now detached forever from his body. –” 

“Master do tell… Why on earth is this happening to this poor couple?”

Ciel snapped up from his thoughts and immediately covered his paper, annoyed that his Butler was reading over his shoulder.

“Don’t do that again.”

“Ah but my lord I am so a fan of your literature. You should consider getting some of these published. I think some of them are quite good, and you seem to enjoy yourself: you have talent, young Master.”

With that, Ciel immediately buried the paper and put it away in his desk.

“No. I already told you. I’m in no position to be a writer. This is just a way for me to pass the time before bed while I'm too tired to do anything else, an exorcize. Nothing more. A Phantomhive, writing macabre stories instead of dedicating time to the company, or serving her Majesty the Queen…ridiculous. Father certainly never would have never approved.” 

Sebastian liked to ignore whatever Ciel had to say about either of his parents, and kept his focus on the fact his Master took the paper away. 

"Oh dear, I really should have waited. You’re now cross with me… But I am not what you would call a patient fellow…”

“…If you want to read my nonsense so badly, at least wait until I decide how it ends.” 

“Your conclusions always perfectly suit your lovely fables… I am quite fond of them. I am simply dying to know my lord.” He poured the Earl his cup of tea… though Ciel couldn’t help but notice the unusual amount of sweets that his Butler had also brought with him. 

They looked difficult to make and obtain, even for Sebastian. 

“As fond as I am of having time wasted praised, and indulging myself in fanciful treats at a quarter till 3 in the morning– Sebastian, might I ask what the occasion is. You’re lingering. If you want to say something… you may do so.”

“No occasion my lord is needed… Enjoy yourself… perhaps… the occasion being my apology, for not properly exhibiting my emotions.”

“….Emotions. Really.” The young Earl returned his eyes to his desk, and begun to organize his inks and pens. “Nonsense. We’ve already spoken on this matter, no need to revisit it.”

“Ah yes… But I do not feel I have expressed humbly enough the depths of my fondness for you, Master. Perhaps blame it on the conditioning of cruelty… but I would never place such things upon you.”

Ciel stopped moving and let Sebastian continue, staying silent. 

“Your lordship deserves more affection after such a union than I provided… With deepest regret, I led you to believe I had toyed with you… I left you in a time I sincerely wished I hadn’t… And I denied you something… Beautiful. Forgive me my lord, and know that my eternal soul rests with you, and more importantly… So do my unchanging affections…. I am too candid, and forgive me if it brings you even more shame… but I love you my lord.”

“………..” 

For twenty seconds there was nothing but silence. Not even the crickets chirped. 

Ciel placed his elbow on his desk and covered his mouth with his hand as he leaned on it slightly, his bangs were hiding his eyes. Then his shoulders began to jump a bit, and at first it seemed perhaps he might have been upset or weeping… but then the sound of muffled laughter came from behind his cupped hand. 

Sebastian paused before sounding just a little wounded, “Do I amuse you my lord.”

In response Ciel continued to laugh. His laughter escalated and it was as though what Sebastian had said was the funniest and most hilarious thing he had ever heard. Finally, he managed to choke out, “…Get out of here, Sebastian, Please…”

“… Of…. course, my lord….”

“Good GOD you must take me for a fool…”

“… A fool sir…what on earth would provoke you to say that?”

“Do you really think you can convince me what happened the other day was anything other then the result of a –… a creature, such as yourself acting accordingly… You think you can waltz in here with your cheeky grin, and serve me some treats, and say a few pretty words and then – hm, low and behold, naive little orphan Ciel will melt and believe everything you say. Well, I think not.”

“… I never lie, sir.”

“I’m not sure I believe you anymore. Children never lie either, they’re too innocent and do not know how, we both know that’s not true in either case. I shall not be distracted by trickery such as this: Whatever you’re after, Sebastian, you wont get it.” The Young Earl turned his nose up snobbishly. “Now, I wish to go to bed.” 

“Of course master… But before I take my leave, I’d like to ask you one thing if you’ll allow it.”

“What would you like to ask.” 

“…Do you believe that I have a heart? That I’m capable of feeling.”

For a moment their eyes met, and Ciel had to take the question seriously.

“Perhaps, at one time, you may have. I don’t know, but I find it extremely unlikely that you do, now.” 

"Why do you believe I desired a sexual relationship with you, then.”

“Why? I’ll tell you why: because you are quite simply one hell of a demon, Sebastian. You said it once yourself…” The youth rolled his eyes and turned away from him, focusing on the papers on his desk. “I’m either a child in your eyes, or I’m not. Either way, it was wrong.”

“… You believe I acted on selfish urges and stole your virtue..”

Ciel held his chin up and neatly adjusted his papers, his silent manner of doing so said it all. 

“…I see. That is what you honestly believe.” 

The Earl said nothing response.

“Alright, this has gone on long enough… I had hoped that this would have been resolved by now, but I’m afraid I can not wait any longer.”

“What the devil are you talking about?”

“You’ll have to pardon me Master. I will send up one of the other servants to attend to you, please excuse me. Goodnight.”

“–Wait, Seba-”

But when Ciel turned to look back, his servant was gone. 

*

Sebastian waited in the shadow of the building, trying to remain unseen. 

“Funny. The repulsive reaper should have come by now…” 

He spoke too soon. 

“SE-BAS-TEE-UN! My sweet DARLING!”

Sebastian immediately tucked to avoid the attempted flying tackle. The culprit was Grell Sutcliffe, of course. 

“Grell. So glad you came. I need a favor.”

“Don’t reject me so, Bassy oh how I missed you. GLAD? THEN SO AM I! A favor? Mmm, of what nature is this– favor?” The reaper brought himself to his feet and dusted himself off, wriggling his shoulders suggestively. “You know– It must be something juicy if you’re meeting me here, just the two of us… in this alley, ALONE–”

Sebastian dodged another attempt of the reapers sexual assault. 

“Focus, Grell.”

“I swear! I couldn’t resist the invitation: A secret rendezvous with dear sweet Sebastian– I could have just DIED!~”

“Would you KINDLY listen. I need to barrow a cinematic record. A record of someone who is still very much alive.”

“Hmmmm, And why would I do that?” The Crimson haired reaper began to study his recently painted nails, adverting his gaze if only for a few seconds. He took a nail file and began to pick at them. “Quite cold of you, trying to take advantage of a woman’s affections. It is a trick you can bet I wont fall for again so easily! What’s in it for me?” The reapers piercing green eyes leered seductively under his false eyelashes upon him, and grinned. 

“At the risk of asking you what you want– How does a demonic love curse sound?”

The reapers eyes widened and he dropped his nail file. Apparently he had heard of the dark magic before. Probably paid a lot for a fake one at some point in time, no doubt. Sebastian gave a knowing smile… he honestly wasn’t fond of using the weaknesses in Grell’s heart to obtain what he wanted, but he had no other choice. Actually, sometimes he did enjoy it a little. 

“Done! But I want it now! I wont let you cheat me, not out of this deal!” 

“Alright, but keep in mind it wont work until you hold up YOUR end of the bargain.”

“Just let me have it!” 

Sebastian dropped a single, strange coin inside the palm of the reapers hand. Grell treasured it and held onto it like it was most precious… and it probably was, to him.

“And for the record– it wont work on me, I do hope that wont inconvenience you.”

For once, Grell was silent and seemed to be working through a lot of thoughts and emotions. He had not yet recovered from receiving the coin and what it meant. Finally, he pocketed the coin and adjusted his glasses. Finally he spoke. 

“Alright, Sebastian. Give me the name and I’ll get it for you, even if it KILLS me or worse: gets me fired…”

“Ciel Phantomhive. My current Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may come a time when I mess around with the wording during some of the exchanges between Ciel and Sebastian in this chapter, but I think the point came across well enough.  
> All the Angst.


	4. His Master, Forgetful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian seems to have had enough of whatever is wrong with Ciel, lately. The Butler, for reasons only known to him, has a strong desire to view his Master's cinematic record. An unlikely 'friend', Grell Sutcliff, is somewhat roped into helping him on this matter. But what happens if Sebastian goes too far?

Mid-morning was tense at the Phantomhive Manor. 

“Finnian. Maylene. Bardroy.”

All three servants were cowering in a small cluster, whispering to each other. 

“ohdear– oh he’s mad, he’s smiling–”

Indeed Ciel spoke in an eerily calm, even voice with the most insincere small smile on his face. 

“Where is Sebastian this morning? He did not wake me. I slept in a half an hour. I am not properly dressed. My hair is unkept. Obviously– I have to rely on him for these things to be done. You three are no help.”

The servants whimpered as the young Earl continued. 

“I have not even been given my schedule for today, and where is my EARL GRAY!?”

All three servants jumped and ran off in different directions in a desperate attempt to get the morning routine done immediately, “Oh dear he’s in a mood today, yes he is! Finny– help me fetch the Mastas’ clothes!”

“Where is Sebastian!? He NEVER messes up like this!” Finny frantically tried to help, breaking a few things in the process. 

“‘Beats me. You think he woulda’ told us he was goin’ out today…Ya’ think he’s alright?” 

Ciel rubbed his forehead and wandered towards his study, not caring to overhear any more of what the servants had to say. The Noble boy was furious with his Butler and that was an understatement. How dare leave and not be back by the morning, neglecting his duties. Clearly he was the only one at fault, here. Ciel had nothing to do with this. 

He shut the door behind him and leaned back against it, ripping the eye-patch from his face. He knew he would have to calm himself unless he wanted to have an asthma attack. But young Master could not help but replay the last conversation he had with his Butler over and over in his head…

“What would you like to ask.”

“…Do you believe that I have a heart? That I’m capable of feeling.”

The boy grimaced as he thought of the response he knew that he had given him.

“Perhaps, at one time, you may have. I don’t know, but I find it extremely unlikely that you do, now.” 

"Why do you believe I desired a sexual relationship with you, then.”

“Why? I’ll tell you why: because you are quite simply one hell of a demon, Sebastian. You said it once yourself… I’m either a child in your eyes, or I’m not. Either way, it was wrong.”

The noble boy let out a grunt of frustration and brought a fist back hard against the door and cried aloud, “Ciel don’t be a fool!” He had to snap out of this. He could not allow himself to feel remorse for anything he said: Not to him. That would be caring too much. Sebastian was NOT a victim, he was a monster. Ciel always knew this. 

'No.’ The boy slid down the door into a sitting position, hugging his knees close to his chest as he tried to sort out his thoughts and push away any and all emotions. 'It’s his fault… he’s a filthy creature, a lowly servant you’re just USING him to get what you want. He means to be the end of you. You are not in the wrong, Ciel, you could hang him for this if he were anyone else. You’re just upset because he isn’t here doing his job as a Butler. … he's… not coming when you call…’

Ciel bit his lip so hard it should have drawn blood… as he did so he weaved both hands into his hair and pulled– feeling tortured by his thoughts and feelings. Strange, talking to himself usually helped him get through anything. 

'… You are worried. And not for your revenge … You worry for him, far, far too much. Snap out of this! He’s a pawn, just a pawn…’

His crimson eyes opened and he exhaled slowly, his breath visible in the otherwise warm room. 

“…What has happened to me… What is this…What am I feeling…”

He brought his hands down slowly in defeat… he could not sort himself out or solve his problem of Sebastian being absent. As the young master glanced downwards something caught his eye upon his fingernail. 

“…What is this…” He scratched lightly over what seemed to be a fine, black crack down his nail. Slight imperfections annoyed him to no end. “I didn’t touch anything…” He clawed gently at black line, expecting it to give way. 

Instead of this happening, a flesh-colored paint chip flaked away revealing more of a black sheen underneath. 

“What the devil!” The boys eyes widened in surprise. He brought his nails closer to his face and proceeded to scratch at them some more. “…Paint? Is this someone’s idea of a joke?!” 

Ciel was a little more nervous, now. He picked and scratched the flesh colored nail polish away until all that remained were the true shade of his claws… a solid black. 

“…It can’t be. It's…impossible…” 

*

The world of the Reapers was quite active today. More active then it usually was, many of them coming and going and darting about. Grell made sure that Sebastian was close by… if anything, a little too close.

“Okay, darling– us Reapers have a sort of crisis we’re trying to sort out at the moment, so they’ll be a lot of us wandering around. Make SURE you keep those glasses ON, Bassy! Those aren’t just your run-of-the-mill reaper’s glasses, they’ll fool ANYONE, probably even William if he doesn’t get a clear look at you. Whatever you do? DON’T TAKE THEM OFF.”

Sebastian frowned slightly as he adjusted the thickly rimmed spectacles. He wore a modern suit with his hair slicked back, and through the glasses his eyes appeared a vibrant green… anyone looking at him would assume he’s just an average reaper, late for work. 

“They’re awful. And you’re certain these will keep my presence undetected?”

“I’m sure! At least by anyone who matters, now come on we must do this quickly! Quickly or not at all!”

They began towards the Reapers Library and thankfully, every reaper they happened to pass were too preoccupied to notice. They were too busy with juggling paperwork, adjusting their scythes, or else they had their nose buried in a 'To-Die List’ … whatever was going on, it had to be something important. 

“This way…”

“Yes, I remember. You forget, I’ve been here with you before.”

“I’d never forget!”

It didn’t take either of them too long of a time before reaching the Library and finding the correct section… but much to Grell’s dismay, the precious book he had promised Sebastian was missing.

“… What do you mean his record isn’t here? Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I have no idea! But wait- wait I’m not about to give up!” With a rapid 'click click click’ of his heels against the marble floor Grell made his way over to a different sort of book– one meant for reapers who check-out the records of humans. “This isn’t normal, not just any slob can pick up a record from the shelf of this Library and walk out with it. You need permission from the Higher-ups, or else you need paper work and the–EHHH?!”

Sebastian frowned slightly and raised his eyebrows a little at the way the reaper finished the sentence. “…I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that that.”

Grell seemed stunned by what appeared on the page, and quickly shut the book, “Ican'thelpyou. No. This is officially over my head.”

“Why?!”

“Nevermind! I can’t help you– even if I wanted to so – don’t you DARE tease me!”

Sebastian let a slight growl slip as he flipped open the book, turning to the page Grell had been looking at. About mid-page there were the words 'Earl Ciel Phantomhive - checked out by staff member/Grim Reaper : ’ and then a large, black stamp stood right beside it. It seemed to stand out from the rest of the names listed on the page, which simply had names and dates beside them instead of this stamp. As Sebastian flipped through a few pages briefly he discovered Ciel’s name was the only one who appeared to have that stamp… almost anywhere in the entire book. His eyes narrowed slightly, unsure of the meaning of this. 

“…This seal means something special, does it not? You will tell me, unless of course you don’t want that love curse.”

Grell took a deep breath and frowned slightly, tsking at him for the blackmail, “His name bares the seal of the Highest of all the Higher-ups. You don’t see THAT everyday. Why? THAT, Bassy– is none other then the seal of Father Death! He’s the Head of ALL Reapers– the eldest, and the wisest there is. NO ONE is above him. No one can recall another reaper alive before him. If he has taken a special interest in your young Master… well… it’s hard to say what it means. It could be anything!”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed and his eyes began to glow a vibrant, piercing red. “… Is. That. So. Well this is most unexpected …Take me to him.”

“HA! Ha-ha! Are you insane– don’t make me laugh, nobody talks to the Great Father of Death! No one has spoken to him in years–”

“You WILL take me to him, Grell.”

“No! I have done all I can do, curse or NO curse! We need to get OUT of here before I get fired!”

Sebastian grunted with frustration and then sighed at what he knew he’d have to do. He leaned slightly against the nearest shelf, his eyes instantly seemed to melt with false sadness. He placed a hand over his heart as a small strand of black hair grazed his cheek as he spoke in an airy, seductive tone.

“Please don’t misunderstand my intensions, Grell… I thought you gave me your sincerest word? Won’t you help me in my time of such …great…need…?” He took care to almost whisper the last sentence, going as far as to reach a gloved hand to pet the reapers cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You’re my last hope…” 

Grell squealed at the demon, as usual there was only so much sex-appeal the reaper could stand, and Sebastian knew it. “AAAAAAH! OKAY! Alright– just PLEASE no more I can’t take it! MMM, you MONSTER!” 

The demon only smirked in reply.

~

“Do you have official business.” 

Grell put on his best, most toothy smile and leaned forward just slightly as he spoke to the Reaper on guard. Behind this reaper stood two large double-doors about one hundred feet high. Sebastian frowned, sensing an overwhelming presence coming from behind the set of doors. 

“…Hello there deary. Yes of course. I– Well, We need to speak with the Father on a matter of urgency.”

“I’m afraid that Father Death is busy. He will see no one unless summoned.”

“…Well, What if I told you we were sent by …” Grell leaned in close to the Reapers ear. Sebastian raised his eyebrows and stayed composed. Whatever lies Grell had cooked up seemed to do the trick. 

“…Well… In that case. The Father should see you.” The reaper pushed up his glasses and proceeded to open the doors using a special scythe he had been given. 

When the doors opened, it was as if one was looking into a black hole. Grell was suddenly not so confident about what he had just done, and entered in a very humbled and shaken manner. Sebastian stood by the Reapers side and took in the surroundings of the strange, large cavern-like room. 

The moment they were both inside the doors slammed shut and an unknown, dim source of light illuminated the room just enough for them to see. The room was large and circular, and it appeared to have no ceiling…the walls went on forever it seemed. Grell took another step forward and his heel crunched down on something. 

Sebastian didn’t flinch, “Charming. The floor is made up of bones.” 

Then all at once, a deep and loud voice seemed to come from the very center of the room, much higher up from the floor.

“Grell Sutcliffe. Why have you come. Why did you bring this demon to my dwelling?”

Both the reaper and the demon glanced up and beheld the Father Death. At first all that could be seen of him was the shape of a man completely concealed in a large, black and billowing hooded cloak. 

Sebastian was a little more than happy to discard his disguise. “So it’s true… you do see all.” 

There was a gust of cold wind and then all at once Father Death stood before them. His face was cold, and surprisingly youthful in appearance… unlike the other reapers his eyes were a vibrant icy blue. His face was absent of all emotion. As he reached for something, it could be seen that the moment his flesh left the shadow of his cloak, it melted away to bone. All at once a large sickle appeared in his skeleton hand and he held it close, allowing his flesh to return before speaking. 

“What did you hope to achieve by coming here, creature of darkness.”

“And here I was expecting a creature of greatness… But you stand quite fragile.”

Father Death said nothing, but through the demon’s eyes he saw a flash of anger reflected through the ancient Reaper.

“Why have you taken an interest in my young Master’s Cinematic Record? I was to understand that this was all taken care of– the matter of his soul belongs to the Underworld not to you. I am insulted. His soul is not yours. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t attempt to destroy you.” 

Grell’s eyes widened in complete and utter horror at the disrespect Sebastian displayed, “He’s joking! He’s only joking Father!”

The older Reaper raised skeletal hand to silence Grell without breaking eye contact from the demon, ready to respond. “Fragile. What gives you that impression, I should wonder. Destroying me would be like destroying death itself… this arrogance truly is the wrath of a demon.” Slowly, a large smile formed on the reapers face. “…And why should I tell you anything?” 

“Because His soul belongs to me, not to you. You have absolutely no right.”

“It is my job to keep the natural order.”

“What exactly would keep natural order…. regarding my master’s death?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know. Heheh…”

Grell glanced up, squinting just a little at the smile on Father Death’s face…something seemed familiar. Sebastian noticed this as well but by now was using all his self control not to shake with anger. 

“Perhaps we can correct this, without my master’s death don’t you think? You remember the Black Death, don’t you?”

“I remember.” Father Death’s voice dropped an octave and the room appeared to get colder. For a moment there was nothing but silence before the Great Grim Reaper spoke again in the voice he had spoken in before. 

“Give me a reason, demon. Will you murder left and right if I do not comply? What if I told you 10,000 souls would not make a difference in this matter– not even 300,000 thousand could change my mind. Your young Master is fated to die.” 

“…What about every mortal soul on earth. Tell me would that make a difference to you.”

“You would have surely have met your end by then… I could give you information or I could tell you nothing at all! Do not misunderstand, I am on NO ONES side but my own. Angels, Demons– you’re all the same to me in the end.”

“What exactly has my Master done?! He is a divine being his soul is still mine!”

“It is not what he has done. It is what he might do.”

“What can you foresee, then.”

“Hehehe what, indeed.”

“He poses no threat to the natural order YOU ARE THE FOOL HERE!”

“You’re losing my good opinion of you very quickly.”

“Your good opinion? I question your REASON sir, your ability does not give you the right! You protect no order other than your own and it is SICK!”

“How easily do people forget that we Grim Reapers are not only the masters of death, but of life as well…” The Reaper began to soar upwards, black long hair flowing around his form. Several glowing transparent orbs began to circle around him. “Every reaped, unclaimed soul ends up here. I decide personally where it goes, and its fate: Heaven? Hell? Or reincarnation. …Or I could make it a part of my own personal little collection. Hehehehehe! You think your words are wise, demon? Should your master die, I could make sure you never see him again. I could separate you forever if I see fit and still you insult me…”

 

“Tell me why. TELL ME WHY YOU SAY HE NEEDS TO BE KILLED! His soul is mine you will NOT TAKE HIM FROM ME!” Sebastian began to shake with rage and his form began to shift and change, thousands of black feathers began flitting in every direction. He was struggling not to allow his true form to come forth. 

“…oh…dear what have I done…” Grell’s face paled and he sunk carefully to the floor, trying to decide what to do.

“Hear me, Father Death. I bow to no one but my master. Now please… Let’s make a deal shall we?! I’ll kill any reaper you send for my master.”

“I will make no such deal with you. I will come for him myself… Someone needs to teach you some respect.”

“….Respect you. Respect you when you threaten to take away something so precious.”

“His soul is unique but far from precious.”

“Even you… who should be so 'Great’ as to decide life from death… Even you should have some respect for creatures from my domain– if you do not then why, tell me why should I have respect for yours?”

Grell shrieked and pulled at Sebastian’s elbow, “Bassy please we need to go now!”

“Get off of me, Grell!”

“Is that a threat, demon from Hell. Pray tell, what circle do you come from…” Father Death seemed to be humoring Sebastian at this point and it made the demons eyes glow with rage. 

“…If the deaths of a thousand humans won’t make you change your mind… How about the death of a thousand reapers?”

Father Death frowned in response to this, “… I find it unlikely. Even if you managed to destroy a few, they are replaceable. Why not start with that one?”

Grell shook as the great reaper appeared almost an inch from his face, “I tire of these games demon: If I see your Master is no threat to the natural Order, then there will be no need to take him. I will give him one chance and one chance alone to prove he wishes to behave as a demon ought. …As for you, Grell…”

Sebastian’s eyes widened as he witnessed Grell’s glasses being ripped clean off of his face and thrown off into a pile of skulls. “YOU ARE FIRED.”

There was an overwhelming explosion of wind and with a 'BOOM’ it sent both Grell and Sebastian flying out of both black doors and onto the tiled floor outside the room. 

“…Grell…”

The reaper made no effort to get up or respond.

“Grell my…sincerest apologies I did not intend for this to happen to you.”

“…Grell. Is that you…. Good God, what happened, Grell what did you do?!”

Sebastian glanced up and upon seeing William T. Spears standing at the end of the hall he immediately took the opportunity to leave, “Do forgive me. I’ll see what I can do to amend this… but for now I must return to my Master.” 

As he exited the hallway, he faintly heard what he believed was a very rare and serious, even... intimate conversation between the two reapers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, the inspiration for Father Death comes from a giant, very beloved 4-foot stuffed grim reaper that was passed around my circle of friends "to crash at their place" for years.  
> Eventually, he developed into a character and our own take on what death, personified might actually be like. 
> 
> Grell and William are in it now! Next chapter needs a lot of tweaking and work done, I'd expect to see it within the next few days. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. His Master, demonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag, Ciel confronts Sebastian about what he has become. Meanwhile, a trial in the realm of the reapers takes place to determine the fate of Grell Sutcliffe.

It had nearly been an entire day and still, the young Master refused to leave the confines of his study. The shock upon discovering himself was proving to be too much, even for a creature such as himself. Did he even truly believe it, even if the evidence was before his own eyes?

Ciel continued to gaze at his own claws in near horror, and inspect himself in a hand mirror. The small item was the only thing he requested of his servants the entire day. ‘These are the hands of a demon. But they are my hands. Calm down, Ciel. Try to think…’ The youth did his best to self-soothe but his own thoughts were not providing much comfort. It was not likely that comfort would come to him until he figured out how such a thing happened to him. 

‘The contract is still here. If I have somehow become a demon … something must have happened to me. Why is it I have no memory of it? What’s wrong with me? Is this why I can’t sleep?’ 

Ciel’s brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate, ‘No. It’s more than that… it must be the answer as to why Sebastian is acting so strange. Maybe it explains why he…’

The youth couldn’t finish the thought, not without blushing, anyway. 

The young Earl strained and struggled to remember from behind his desk. ‘The last thing I can remember before this all started…it was…’

Ciel’s eyes reddened instantly as soon as a strange, broken array of memories came flooding back to him. Sebastian in combat with a fierce divine being, the presence of other demons, and the face and eyes of a tormented blonde boy clouded his vision. He nearly passed out from the sensations that came from such memories. 

“SEBASTIAN!” Ciel stood up from his desk and ran to the door of his study and ripped it open. Ciel knew his servant would return if he was called, but he had others to confront.

“Finnian!? Bardroy?! Maylene?!” The Noble nearly screeched their names out, as he did so he continued to bolt down the hallway. He did not stop until he reached the edge of the main staircase of the manor. 

The three servants stood at the bottom of the staircase and gazed up at their Master with looks of concern. Finnian was the first to speak to him, “Masta’?” 

Ciel gripped the edge of the banister tensely and spoke as sharp as he could, “Tell me. What secrets did Sebastian tell you to keep from me?!”

The servants seemed to nervously exchange glances, but they did not respond to their Master.

The lack of reply made Ciel all the more nervous. “What’s wrong. Why wont you speak? … Why are the three of you looking at me that way…” Ciel’s eyes turned a vibrant red as he spoke, upon realizing that their silence in itself was an answer. “… You KNOW! How long have the three of you known what’s been wrong with me?” 

Bard was the next to speak, “It’s just… we think maybe you need to hear some of this from our new Master, Ciel.” 

“… What did you just say to me?!” Ciel didn’t realize it, but his claws left small indents in the polish where he continued to grip the banister. 

“My Lord…” Sebastian’s voice captured Ciel’s attention, and he looked to the end of the passageway where he stood. “I apologize. I was away for too long.”

Ciel made his way up to his servant. With an even, prompt and calculated motion, the youth swiftly slapped his Butler across the face. There was no hesitation. This was something that was bound to happen, and Ciel had found his boiling point. 

For several long seconds, Sebastian said nothing. When he turned his head back to lay eyes on his Master, his eyes shown a brilliant crimson. The servant waited patiently for Ciel to speak first. 

“You promised never to lie to me. That’s for breaking your promise.” 

Sebastian managed a small smile, something in his gaze shifted… but it was difficult for Ciel to read. “I never lie, my Lord. I merely withheld some information from yo-”

Ciel struck Sebastian once more, this time using the back of his hand to strike his Butler’s opposite cheek. “That’s THE SAME THING as LYING!” 

Silence fell, and this time it was much more difficult for anyone to break. The young Earl managed it, with a great deal of regaining his own composure and effort. “… Why can’t I remember what happened to me, and how I came to be like this? What is going on?” 

Sebastian sighed gently, “My lord, you were fully aware of what happened. That is, until you lost a great deal of your memories while you and I were in the Underworld.” 

“The Underworld?”

“Yes, Master. It’s normal for demons like you to lose some memory, eventually. You are immortal now. Eventually, your human life and memories attached to it wont matter at all anymore. Though, I suppose in some small ways… your beginning can influence you. In your areas of familiarity and where you excel, at least. Everything about you has undergone a transformation. To put it bluntly, you’ve been through Hell…”

His servants words were beginning to sink in, and even disturb the youth until his last remark. It seemed to snap him back to his senses and he scowled, “… Why did I lose so many memories at once? And to what end? What of my revenge and the contract?” 

Sebastian’s smile widened as he continued, “… Funny you should put it that way. I have no issue with explaining what took place, Master. For the time being, I’ll need you to try to calm down…” 

“Oh, that’s easy for you to say. Spare me your coddling, I’ve had enough of it. It’s making me SICK.”

Sebastian’s smile instantly faded from his face as soon as the earl said those words, Ciel couldn’t pretend not to notice. Still, he did not miss a beat as he spoke, “And as for YOU three–!” 

Ciel turned his head and gestured to the spot at the bottom of the stairs where he believed the three servants would still be standing. His eyes widened however, upon seeing that they were no longer there. “Where did they–”

The Earl gasped and almost lost his balance. When he turned back to Sebastian he saw his three servants standing right behind him. It was as if they had been there the whole time. Sebastian cocked his head just slightly and smiled as Finnian, Maylene, and Bardroy faded out of sight. “Their souls are under my domain now, my Lord.”

It took Ciel a few moments to comprehend the words of his servant before he replied, “… No… did they… they didn’t– take up a contract with you, did they…?” His voice was much more slowed, and hushed now. 

“Of sorts, yes. Though it was unlike the one between you and I. You’ll soon realize, Master… there are many different sorts of contracts that a demon can make with a human being. I did not seek to consume their souls, they weren’t quite to my tastes. I merely… became their keeper.” Sebastian chuckled lowly. 

The young earl felt his shoulders fall, “… So in the end, they figured it out. That you were a demon that I contracted. And in the end I became – this, a demon as well, and still… even after all of that, they… wanted to… stay… even after all of that … ”

Sebastian seemed oblivious as to why this could sadden or emotionally impact Ciel in a negative way, “They were extremely fond of you and this Manor, Master. I daresay, they viewed all of us as family. Parting ways forever was unbearable for them, so I was happy to contract them considering your current circumstance. It was most convenient having them around. You can talk to them whenever you’d like– for now, they’re resting until you need them.”

Ciel brought a hand to his forehead, overwhelmed and frustrated. “I didn’t want to drag any of them into this… We should have gone straight to Hell and never have come back. Sebastian … Why did we come back? Was it because of our contract?” 

Sebastian cleared his throat, “Ahem. Yes. About that. Please my Lord, come sit down. Allow me to prepare you a cup of tea. I can explain everything… though it may take a bit.” 

“Fine, but spare me no details.”

* * *  
“Order! Quiet.” The reaper spoke in a stoic, cold manner. “If everyone can be seated, the trial will now begin. Ladies and gentlemen, the subject here today is Grell Sutcliffe. Division… England. Time period: Victorian. My fellow reapers, we have assembled here on this day, because Sutcliffe has submitted an appeal to the Grim Reapers Staffing Association about having been recently relieved of his position as field reaper. Sutcliffe wishes for the court to consider filing a petition to appeal, so that he may ultimately resume his position, and be spared a different fate within our realm. Is his supervisor present?” The reaper looked to the right side of the white, large room. 

“Yes.” The slim figure stood up amongst a small cluster of reapers. “I am the superior of Grell Sutcliffe within our division, My name is William T. Spears.” 

“Mr. Spears, what lead you to relieve Grell Sutcliffe of their position?” 

“Actually, Chairman. If I may make a correction.” William adjusted his glasses with his scythe and cleared his throat. “I was not the one who elected to fire Sutcliffe. The form should be within the paperwork, I am actually here today to speak on behalf of Grell Sutcliffe’s defense.” 

The chairman looked hastily through a small stack of paperwork until they found the form in question. “Of course, my mistake. Forgive my oversight, it’s uncommon for a reaper to be relieved of their duties by someone other than their field superior. I’d like to then point out before the court, that it looks as though Mr. Sutcliffe was fired by … Father Death, himself.” 

There was instant murmuring, and sharp whispers that could be heard echoing throughout the room. The chairman tapped what looked to be a very expensive, heavy pen on his elevated desk three times to silence the room, “Quiet, please! Quiet down.” 

Grell was fighting the urge to bite every single one of his newly manicured nails clean off. They whimpered from where they sat and tried not to appear guilty, but they knew things did not look in their favor. “Oh, I’m done for.” 

“Hush,” William whispered sharply and tapped the back of Grell’s heel gently with his scythe. 

“Grell Sutcliffe was relieved of their position for the following reasons…” The chairman began, and took a deep breath before reading the list. “One. Taking company property without permission. The property in question: One pair of rare, reaper spectacles. Two. Allowing a demon access to the Grim Reaper Library, and allowing this demon to view our records. Three, using means of deception and lies in order to gain access of Father Death’s domain–” The same murmuring erupted once more once the fourth infraction was read. Grell winced and toyed with his hair, any sort of distraction from the trial was welcoming. 

“Quiet, please! Thank you. The fourth and final reason listed: Allowing a demon to enter the domain of Father Death without permission.” The chairman remained calm, but he did not look too pleased by what he just read. As he placed the paperwork back down to rest on his desk, he leered down upon William and spoke, “… I must tell you. It’s highly unlikely your subordinate will be given their job back. But for formalities sake, we will hear any and all defenses anyone has to offer for Mr. Sutcliffe. You may proceed.”

William was careful to stand tall and still, and spoke very carefully before the Reaper Court. “Thank you, chairman. With granted permission, I will speak for Grell’s defense. I am well-aware of Grell Sutcliffe’s situation. I am here today before the court, to ask those present to consider submitting the petition to Father Death to reverse this decision. Grell has demonstrated some irresponsibility in the past, and the infractions standing against him are unforgivable… I wont deny this. However. They have also done remarkable work within our division, and handled many situations that most field reapers could not survive. I’d like this to be taken into account.”

Grell blinked several times and turned his head comically slow to stare at his boss. Who was this man, and what had he done with William? He couldn’t remember the last time his boss gave him such sincere compliments and praise for his work. Then again… it did take Grell getting fired in order for that to happen. 

“They have years of experience. Given our current state of the crisis…” William paused thoughtfully before continuing, “My division can simply not afford to lose a Reaper of Grell’s skill and experience. ALL divisions are understaffed at current. Obtaining a Reaper via transfer that could match Grell’s skillset would not be possible, at least, not in a timely manner that could aid us. I am not here to challenge the Authority of Father Death, that is not my intention. However, by relieving Grell of his job, he has not punished Grell alone for Grell’s mistakes. All of my field workers will be working overtime because of this loss. Bringing in a new Reaper of lesser skill leaves much more margin for error, and that is also not something we can afford. To be frank, the crisis will continue whether Grell returns to work or not. It will make more trouble, take more time, and use more resources as a result if he is not working. In conclusion, it would be more trouble to fire him than it would be to keep him working under me.”

Grell couldn’t help but display the largest, and most shameless toothy grin that he could muster. He knew he should sit still, but he felt himself wriggling a bit in his seat. He could just KISS William! 

“I’d also like to remind the court that under me, Grell will not resume his job unpunished. That I can promise.” 

Grell could not help but make at least one outburst, “It’s true! William is a cold, cruel boss! I have injuries to prove it!” 

“Grell.” William’s brow furrowed and he scowled. 

The Chairman tapped his pen sharply, “That’s enough. I am sympathetic to your situation, Mr. Spears. But why should you go unpunished? I’d think the absence of Grell would be the least of your worries considering what he did on your watch. You’ve said it yourself. Grell Sutcliffe has been making problems for your division for years.”

A small bead of sweat formed on William’s brow, but he remained firm. “I am more than willing to share the blame, Chairman. I am merely suggesting to the court, that if given the chance, my team of reapers can prove to Father Death that not only will such disrespect never happen again, but we can prove our worth to the Grim Reaper Staffing Association by working through the crisis until it’s over. We can achieve this readily and easily with Grell Sutcliffe on our team. I, myself have-” 

At this moment, two doors opened in the back of the room. It turned the heads of every reaper present. Low and behold, it was none other than the one everyone in the human realm had come to call the Undertaker. 

The chairman tapped his pen several times, “…It’s you.” 

With a grin that never left his face, the Undertaker made his way to the front of the room as though he were walking casually into his very own shop. His long robes and hair made him stand out from every other reaper in the room. 

“’Pardon the intrusion, heheh! I came to deliver something that would be of great interest to this case, today.” The sly, elder reaper lifted an envelope in the air for the court to see. It was held neatly between two of his fingers. 

Upon seeing him, Grell’s face went pale. ‘I’m DOOMED!’, the reaper thought, ‘He must have found out that I LIED and used him to get in to Father Death’s Room!’ 

The reaper remembered his lie vividly. ‘I’m afraid that Father Death is busy. He will see no one unless summoned.’

‘…Well, What if I told you we were sent by …’ Grell had leaned close to the guard and whispered, ‘The legendary Reaper himself? ‘Goes by ‘Undertaker’ in the human world, likes to laugh– ‘bet you’ve heard of him, hm? You better let us in, he wouldn’t like it if you turned us away.’ 

Grell’s eyes filled with tears that were likely warranted given his circumstance. “It was nice knowing you, William…”

The Undertaker offered the envelope to the Chairman and stood politely at the front of the room. The silver-haired reaper laced his fingers and brought them close to his chin, his long black fingernails just touched the edge of his own lips. Every once in a while, his shoulders would jerk as though he were trying to hold back laughter. 

Without wasting any time, the Chairman opened it up to review the contents. His expression shifted a bit, and he leaned forward. “I have a direct appeal from Father Death, here. It seems he has changed his mind about you, Mr. Sutcliffe. You may resume working under Mr. Spears. Case is dismissed.” 

As soon as the words were spoken, reapers began to quickly exit the room in single-file lines. Higher-ups were truly something else, almost machine-like and fully dedicated to their work. 

William was stunned, “…Well. This is most unexpected. You’re extraordinarily lucky, Grell. If I were yo–”

Grell squealed, “I’M NOT FIRED! Oh, WILLIAM!” Without warning the flamboyant reaper through their arms around their boss and squeezed. “ This means we shall continue our work together, FOREVER!” 

William’s entire body became uptight and he immediately pushed Grell straight to the floor, “Away, Grell! Honestly, can’t you learn to control yourself!?”

“That must have been quite the scare for you, hm?” Glancing up and getting to a standing position, Grell realized that the Undertaker was still in the room and speaking to him. 

William immediately bowed his head out of respect. “Thank you for your assistance during this matter. It is deeply appreciated and you have my sincerest thanks.” 

“Really I can’t thank you enough, sir! You saved my BEAUTIFUL skin.” Grell smiled their usual toothy smile and reached to take both of the Undertakers hands in a playful manner. Grell did this with most males they deemed handsome, but he was met with surprise when the Undertaker squeezed his hands back. 

“It’s no trouble, my dear… If you’d consider returning a small favor, I’d like to talk to you sometime, if you’re not too busy. You remember where my shop is, right? Just drop by anytime.” 

Grell felt his face get hot, but he managed to keep smiling. “Of course! I’ll drop by soon.” 

William stood up straight and couldn’t help but notice the exchange. Something inside him felt uneasy, but he couldn’t make out the reason for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is a little on the short side, I'm working out the details of where I want the story to go from here regarding Grell.  
> The truth is I'm caught in a hard place between ships. But Undertaker is in it now! :D  
> I'll try to post the next chapter within the next few days.  
> Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate all words of encouragement. 
> 
> Also just as a side note, most of this story was already written and worked out a long, long time ago. I'm just going to go ahead and throw certain events currently happening within the recent chapters of the manga out the window. ^^'


	6. His Master, In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel is in for a nasty shock upon realizing the situation that he and Sebastian have fallen into. This puts the nature of the very contract between them into question, and forces the young Earl to face some serious questions about his feelings...

“The last memory I have before these large gaps occur ... I can’t even say, for certain. It’s all muddled. I can recall little about what happened. I just know that the unfortunate debacle with Alois Trancy was ultimately resolved.”

Ciel sat in a large, plush chair within in a room that was rarely occupied anymore. It was a room meant to entertain, but the billiards table had not been of use in a great long while. The two demons were illuminated by a large fire crackling happily in the fireplace. Ciel was not sure why he wanted to have this conversation here. Perhaps it was because it was a place he felt very grounded, it reminded him very much of his father. The youthful demon held tightly to the top of a cane, careful to keep both eyes on his Butler.

Sebastian’s eyes closed for a moment, “One could say it worked out perfectly, but only for _you_.” When his eyes opened, his expression became serious and he kept the tone of his voice even. “The circumstances don’t matter much, in truth. In the end, you were turned from a human, into a demon. And thus, I could not consume your soul as I had intended. Therefore, the contact has entered a suspended, permanent state of being. Do you understand? I must ever remain at your side, and continue to care for you and right those that wrong you. By any means necessary... for nothing, in exchange. The soul of a demon is not consumable by another demon. It would bring me more harm than good to even attempt it.”

There was a loud pop that came from the fire.

The youthful demon smirked impishly, and stifled a wicked laugh. “Hm... How unfortunate for you! Poor Sebastian. You must have been so disappointed. Do you expect me to pity you?”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed just the slightest amount, “This is actually quite serious. It is not a common power to turn a human into a demon, Ciel. This does not happen often. This has caused quite an upset in more than one realm.”

The rare use of his first name by his butler wiped the smirk off the youth’s face, but he continued to listen.

Sebastian sighed softly, “It will be easier if I show you what happened once we stepped foot into my circle of the Underworld... With your permission, Master.” With this being said, Sebastian stepped over to his Master carefully and brought a hand to the youth’s forehead. As soon as he did so, Ciel could see a scene play-out perfectly in his mind. It was as though he was watching it all through a piece of blue-tinted stained glass. 

There in his vision stood a large amount of great, intimidating and powerful creatures in various size and forms. Some towered, while others stood closer to the ground. Thick fog covered the ground and rolled around the beings, it was difficult to see them vividly. In total, there had to be at least thirty or forty of them. They crowded in an area that could only be described by Ciel as haunted, and remote. It was difficult to tell whether the surroundings were incased; rather, if they were indoors or outdoors. Everyone could be seen just enough, but if there was a source of light in this place, it was difficult to pinpoint. 

Sebastian held Ciel in his arms and paused momentarily as they entered the clearing. Decidedly he lowered his Master so he could stand beside him before the crowed of demons.

After a moment, one of the creatures came forward. They held a fearsome looking, beastly form on two legs with large wings. The wings concealed most of whatever they looked like underneath and dragged on the floor as they walked.

The voice they spoke in was so rasping and loud, it was hard to understand at first. Thankfully, Sebastian chimed in before it could carry on for much longer. “Forgive me for making this request, my old friend. My Master has not given me permission to change forms, and as I’m sure you’re all aware, I am still under contract. In his current state, he can not comprehend our usual means of communication nor can he alter his form. I think it's a touch overwhelming for his current ears to bare. For the sake of this meeting, could please adopt appropriate forms and speak in English? I’d be extremely grateful.”

The creature screeched with outrage and in a moment of contortion, managed to twist itself into the form a heavily decorated man. Many of the other demons followed suit with ease, taking on much more human or human-like forms. Some choose adult males, some female, some where children, and some were indistinguishable. Others could only manage it about halfway, seemingly unwilling to part with their large horns, tails, wings or other distinguished demonic features.

“I do this for YOU, old friend. Not for him. Where do you intend to keep this fowl being.” The nameless demon did not look pleased and did not bother to hide it. “How this came to happen under your careful watch, I’ll never understand... This is -- a MOCKERY!”

“It was an entanglement of events with the involvement of several others of our kind, also contracted. A result of what happens when contract meets contract, as it were. I did not intend for this.” Sebastian did not look happy, either. His usual cheerful demeanor was gone. 

Ciel furrowed his brow in response to the exchange, “Why did we stop here, Sebastian? This can’t be where you dwell when you’re not being summoned. What’s the point of this? We didn’t stop so you could chat with your friends. Hurry up and take me there, I don’t care for these beings. They mean nothing to me.”

The other demon all but screamed at Ciel before Sebastian had the chance to answer. “How DARE you talk that way HERE! You disrespectful, SPOILED brat!” They lunged and wrapped large claws around Ciel’s throat, hoisting the smaller demon into the air with little effort.

Ciel winced and grimaced, he looked at Sebastian with wide eyes. It happened so fast-- he had no time to act at all. His butler didn’t move. It was as though Sebastian didn’t even notice what was happening immediately to his left. The servant just stood with a glazed look in his eyes. Sebastian had the same, defeated demeanor about him ever since Ciel had become a demon in the first place. 

“Do you think you’re special for finding a loophole to get out of paying your dues?! Do you think the demon that made you what you are went unpunished?! We demons are made from stars! From the fabric of WORLDS and precious things forsaken by God! From great, powerful things you don’t even understand or realize, and here, you-- you were constructed from human filth! I refuse to stand by and let you enslave such a great and powerful demon! WE ARE NOT TOYS! WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! WE ARE NOT SLAVES!” The other demon’s eyes glowed such a bright red, they looked like they radiated a fair bit of heat.

“Do you think we didn’t hear ALL about what happened? You have NO right to humiliate us! Do you think you’ve won, because demons can’t be killed? You’re WRONG! We can give you a MUCH worser fate! Contract or no, I should eliminate you, here and now. I can not honor such a warped, twisted promise! What are your last words?!” The nameless creature loosened their claws the smallest bit so Ciel could speak. “Tell me! Tell me how you’ve come to regret your choices you’ve made in your pathetic life! You wretched thing! Your time is UP! You mean NOTHING to any demon here!”

Ciel coughed twice loudly. A strange, black liquid dripped down the corners of his mouth. The youthful deamon didn’t know it, but it was his blood.

“...Parting words? Regrets...?” Ciel managed to speak with just a faint rasp in his voice. In this moment it was clear that he believed that Sebastian had brought him here, to be killed or torn apart. These likely, truly were his very last words.

“Last words? Regrets? There isn’t even enough time left for me to have any regrets. If I am about to end here, fine. But DO not question my loyalty to the decisions I made, beast! Hear me, Demons!”

Ciel’s eyes shone a bright red, in his anger he found more strength for his voice. “Truth be told, there were moments when it was difficult-- difficult, to tell the difference between dedication to my goal, and just sheer stubbornness. Yes, even for me. I wont deny it. Even so, I never lost sight of my revenge.

Whether I had any doubts or not at any point in time, it didn’t matter. It never mattered, because I had him, don’t you get it? It’s what I wanted. My Butler in black, willing to do anything at my command with a head held high. Ever bringing me right back to that dark, sinful wrath, that desire for vengeance. Filling my being with desires to tear my enemies apart.” The slim demon struggled to breath as the large claws tightened around his throat once again. This was clearly not the expected response. Small fangs could be seen in Ciel’s mouth as he spoke his words with ferocity, in spite of being in a compromised position.

Even as he was being choked, he managed to continue. Ciel decided if he was truly about to die, he would spent his last moments yelling at this demon as long as he could. “AND as for ‘Sebastian’, what ever his real name might be-- great demon or not, it was never a question for either of us. We both knew that under his false skin, he was so removed from everything going on. Everything that he and I have been through; it meant nothing. Of course it didn’t! Why pretend? I’d be a fleeting moment, a blink of an eye. Fuel for a fire. Don’t you see? Our hello, was the strongest goodbye. Parting words aren’t needed! I do not fear losing my soul, my life, this form-- I’d give it away a thousand times and I’D DO IT AGAIN! SO JUST KILL ME IF I OFFEND YOU SO MUCH! DO IT! END ME, IF HE CAN’T!”

There was a strange sound, and all at once the demon who was clutching Ciel's throat released him as his arms crumbled to ashes. Ciel fell to the floor with a heavy thud and the nameless demon drew back. The creatures all stood in a bit of awe of what just came out of such a young one’s mouth, none had opted to speak.

Sebastian finally spoke, “He’s a bit feistier than he looks, as you can see. I was so drawn to that wrath he possessed when he was human. I apologize, I have such rare tastes.” He closed his eyes and seemed content to even remember the human soul Ciel once had. "I hope you understand why I wanted him, there was ... a lot of potential." 

Ciel got to his feet, clutching his throat and rubbing it. He had not yet realized that he had, somehow, inflicted a great injury upon the other demon and glared at Sebastian, “Bastard...”

“Please...” Sebastian spoke, “As frustrated for my sake as some of you might be... Remember, I am bound by contract. Part of my contract is to protect my Master. If I believe he is in true danger, I’ll fight anyone who is a threat to his safety until I can't. We all know the fate of a demon who breaks a contract. If you wish to end my Master, remember, you will have to end me as well. Please take that into your consideration.”

A fourth demon with a bow-shaped mouth with black lips elected to come forward and speak. They wore long, dark robes. It seemed that they had a much more calm, and even sweet air about them. Their voice was surprisingly deep and masculine, “This newcomer is very young, and ignorant. We are right to be alarmed by his wrath and arrogance. However... he did not obtain this form alone. I believe his words, and I believe he intended to keep his end of the contract...”

Sebastian turned to the fourth demon, his expression was thankful. “I wont expect my fellow demons to comply with this turn of event. Who enters this circle affects everyone within it, that I know. I understand the great concern. But my Master has brought me here because it is where he asked to be, so I must comply with his wishes. So. What would you have me do? What would any of you have me do? Accept a death worse than death? Accept banishment to some lone, forgotten star?”

The decorated demon with the now-missing arms hissed loudly at the suggestions Sebastian provided, “NEVER--” He seemed ready to yell, almost bark at anyone with an idea that could reflect negatively on Sebastian in anyway. Ciel noticed his favor of Sebastian, but did not remark. The youth wasn't sure how he felt about it as of yet. 

Eventually, more and more demons elected to speak their minds and give their own thoughts on the situation. One offered their input casually, “It’s not his existence that bothers me as much as it is the contract between the two of you. A demon with the power to control another demon at will goes against everything we stand for. It’s grotesque, given the context. I say, find a new circle of Hell to call home.”

“NEVER--!”

Another spoke, “--Well his existence bothers me, more. Much more. We don’t know what true form he’ll take. I personally don’t get along with demons with certain familiarity, it’s why I chose this circle in the first place. I wont be made uncomfortable in my own home for a reckless newcomer. I think banishment to the human realm would be better.”

“NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!”

“Let’s just tear them both to pieces, give the pieces to the reapers, and be done with it. Death might not be able to keep them for long, but a new place could be found for them somewhere in Hell or Earth and it wouldn't be our problem any mo--”

“NEVER!!!”

“I think they could stay here comfortably.”

The last remark came from the robed demon with the masculine voice. The statement made everyone’s heads turn and await an explanation, including Sebastian and Ciel. He continued, “The newcomer has no knowledge of our kind, of this place, or of himself. There are countless things for him to learn. I do not believe he is yet ready to dwell here, however... He is too attached to human ways of thinking. Though I believe in time, he can be taught. If we give him the chance to become one of us and to adapt, he could make a strong asset to our circle. There is potential in him, still...”

Another demon attempted to counter this, “Don’t be a fool... If we give him a chance, he could grow more powerful. Manipulate his way into enslaving us all. He was made from a human, and he is dangerous-- ”

“I don’t believe this is the case. I trust Raum to uphold the contract between them, and perhaps even... amend it in a way that would be agreeable to us all. We can not pretend that there aren’t contracts that exists connecting demon to demon-- it’s just much more common and comfortable between companions.”

“Ray-Um?” Ciel tried to repeat the name he just heard, upon realizing it must have been Sebastian’s ‘real’ name. It took a moment for his mind to catch up with the rest of what the demon had said, but the second he looked to Sebastian for clarification his face turned red. “Companions, as in--?? NO.”

Sebastian’s own face was rather red with embarrassment, looking at the robed demon with a look of almost betrayal. He spoke to Ciel first without looking at him, “Master, if you want to address me by my true name, and you can not pronounce it correctly, just try to say ‘Rain’ with an ‘M’ at the end instead of an ‘N’ and it’ll be close enough. However, ‘Sebastian’ is just fine, at present...” His eyes narrowed right at the demon, “... I have no desire for a companion. I don’t care how convenient it is for everyone else.”

“It could be as platonic or as intimate as you’d like it to be, you know this. Demons always get some attachment to their prey... Are you suggesting that the demon you are fated to be with eternally would never grow to mean anything to you? Even after he grows to be wise and strong?” The robed demon folded his arms.

Sebastian brought a gloved hand to cover his mouth, trying to bring himself to appear as disgusted as possible. The truth was, the thought had already occurred to him a few times already. The contract that was in place was very similar to ones that mated demons often shared. There was no breaking the contract. It made logical sense...but it was so hard to wrap his head around it. “I thought he would remain _human_. We have little in common, if anything. A wrathful human is one thing, but a wrathful demon is another-- he’d make a poor mate. I refuse. ...”

Ciel and Sebastian glared at one another. The robed demon only chuckled, “I might disagree with you but ... Well, suit yourselves. I’d like to make a proposal before everyone here. Once Raum's Master is able to show us his true form... I’d like to see them both to return to the human world for five hundred years. During which time, the newcomer can be taught the ins and outs of our kind, and everything there is to know about the Underworld. When they return, if the newcomer comes in peace... we will assess his progress and if he is agreeable, we will welcome him into the circle. For the time being, they can remain here. But, only until he changes form. Are we agreed?” He raised an ebony, clawed hand. “All in favor...?”

A few demons did not raise their hands, but the majority of clawed-hands rose. Ciel and Sebastian’s fate had been sealed. The Butler sighed gently. “Very well. Thank you all for your patience and understanding during such a stressful time. I am in agreement. Come, Master...”

“I’ll follow, do NOT pick me up.” Ciel’s brow furrowed and he followed his servant swiftly through the twisting mist.

Sebastian in the present tapped lightly on Ciel’s forehead, seemingly skipping ahead to something more important that he wanted to show him.

It was unclear how much time had passed, but Sebastian had taken Ciel to what seemed to be a similar location. The only difference was there were large stones jetting out of the area that varied in size. Some where only about a foot wide while others were climbable, large boulders.

“Does some, small part of you sense what your form will become?” Sebastian had rolled his sleeves up to help the youthful demon stretch.

“Not at all. How am I supposed to know?” The youthful demon snapped crossly.

“Well... it’s a rather complex explanation but... I suppose even humans are drawn to other forces of Nature. Usually a demon is drawn to something. Humans are similar, aren’t they?”

“Nature...? I guess. I didn’t spend much time in nature when I was younger...”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be an element of nature. Perhaps your true form will be the shape of a chess piece that smells of Earl Grey.”

“Shut up...” Ciel suddenly got a wicked expression and smiled the most sinister smile he could muster, “You know. I WAS once called the Queen’s Gaurd dog... I might turn to a demon hound.”

There was no further snide comments from Sebastian for another LONG span of time. The Butler only spoke when giving his Master instructions. Ciel attempted at least thirty times to change forms to the best of his ability, but got no where at all. The youthful one had managed to change the color of his eyes and lengthen his claws, but that was it. Progress was coming to a stand-still.

“You must concentrate, Master. It’s only something I can explain to you."  
  
"Why don't you just take your true form and show me how it's done?" Ciel took a moment to sit on a rock and glared up at his butler.   
  
"It would do you no good. Each form is unique and personal, Master. If you tried to do exactly as I do, it would amount to nothing. You must feel every innermost desire, and pull it out from within you. Truly feel who you are, and bring that out.” Sebastian gestured elegantly with his hands, trying to express what he meant to the best of his ability. 

“I’ve tried it over and over just as you’ve said, and it’s not working.” Ciel frowned. “I don’t know how many times I need to try this before something actually happens. There HAS to be more to it than that. Explain it another way!”

Sebastian sighed, “Some find it easier when motivated by a desire. Think of something you desire most.”

“I don’t desire anything. Not anymore. ... We may as well just take roost at this bloody garden of rocks. What difference does it make. What do I care ...”

Ciel let his face fall and went quiet for a few moments, before he felt two clawed fingers firmly pinch the cheeks of his face. His head was turned forcibly to meet Sebastian’s piercing gaze. “ _Spare me_ your childish human self-loathing, and concentrate, _please_. My patience with you is wearing rather thin.” He looked like he meant it, but he released Ciel’s face once he believed he got the point across. “Remember, it’s not just your name or reputation on the line. We are not going to perish. _I wont allow it_."  
  
There was another moment of silence before Sebastian seemed to calm and continue, "You will never reveal your true form to anyone if you do not try. In the human world, you were unstoppable. Always ahead of the game. But here? You’re just a brat holding a grudge. Not every demon is as taken with that wrath you possessed as I was. Prove them all wrong.”

Ciel’s eyes widened and he let out a low, threatening growl. His eyes turned red, mirroring Sebastian’s. “Fine. I found a desire, all right...” He stood up and stepped on top of a large rock. “I may not not amount to much down here, but I will NOT be trampled on or cast aside. I will NOT be an embarrassment!” He grit his teeth and as he did so, long pointed fangs formed in his mouth. Strange dark haze surrounded Ciel and it looked as though the very air itself was manipulated around him, blowing his hair and blowing the fog up and away.

Sebastian stood back and watched, he was pleased that Ciel seemed to finally seemed to be motivated enough to make some real progress. “Yes... That’s it, Master. Your form is taking shape. Keep going!”

“Shut it!” Ciel cried out. As he did so, a thick black smokey substance concealed his entire body. It shifted and warped and contorted several times. It took him several long minutes, but he finally managed to take a form. When everything cleared, Sebastian was able to take a proper look.

“There, now. You’ve complete-.....” The demon stopped mid-sentence. His eyes were wide with awe and he become utterly speechless, dropping to his knees. “Oh, Master...”

“What’s that look?” Ciel’s voice was more-or-less the same, but had a new, certain smoothness to it that it didn’t contain before. “What’s wrong, did I do it right?”

“... You’re perfect!” Sebastian scooped up his Master, and began to spin him very slowly with a great deal of flourish. Ciel’s mind went numb, confused as to what came over his Butler. The world was spinning, and Ciel became very dizzy. 

In his outrage, Ciel meant to tell Sebastian to ‘sod off’ and to ‘put him down’ and give him a firm slap-- but instead, a sharp HISSS came out of his mouth. What’s more, he felt his clawed hand give a quick, reflexive swipe at his Butler’s head. Sebastian dodged the act of violence effortlessly, and continued to fawn over his Master.

“Oh, my Lord! There hasn’t been a feline demon who graced our circle of the Underworld in eons-- I’m so overjoyed. Oh, and your tail!”

“Feline?!” Ciel instantly reached to the top of his head and felt exactly what he hoped he wouldn’t find. A large set of cat-like ears. “No-- there has to be a mistake I’m ALLERGIC TO CATS!” The young demon's newly formed tail puffed up in shock. 

“Not anymore! Oh, Ciel...” Sebastian shamelessly took a hold of Ciel’s new, lovely tail and felt the texture of the fur run over one of his gloves.

“GIVE me that!” Ciel snatched his own tail away from his servant. There was a redness in his face that refused to go away. Sebastian seemed to go right back to the most playful, teasing, overly-attentive version of himself Ciel had ever seen when he was still human. “SNAP OUT of it! I’m still ME! I WILL have your respect! SEBASTIAN!”

Back in the present, Sebastian withdrew his hand and calmly placed it behind his back. The demon waited a moment, to make sure his younger Master had returned to his senses.

“Shortly after the others saw your true form, we returned to the human world and here, we remain. Though it has been some time since you’ve left the manor, as your memory lapses seem to hinder you from a lot of progress... It’s difficult for me to prepare you for your return when you could not even recall what you were.”

“...Why can’t I remember any of this for myself? What else could have happened to make me forget THIS much?” Ciel stared at the top of his cane, straining to recall anything he just saw. Even if he didn’t care for everything he witnessed, he was even more disturbed he had no recollection of the events.

The Butler knelt down to the younger demon’s level, hoping to make eye contact with his Master. “... I hesitate to show you much else, myself. Forgive me. I have tried to help you recall events in my own unique, subtle ways... and it seemed only to upset you. Forgive my forwardness... but I tried to tell you again, and you were to react badly ... it would wound me, my Lord.”

Ciel looked up and met his servants eyes. For the first time that he could recall, he did not force himself to look away when he felt his heart beat faster. “... That demon, before. The one in the Underworld in the long robes. He said that the contract between us could be respectable, if we became companions.”

“Yes...”

The young Master felt his heart beat faster, “Did...we become that? ... Is that why you did what you did, before? In my dreams. Is it why you've been coddling me?”

Sebastian leaned in the slightest bit closer to the younger demon, earnestly seeking a response. “Does the idea of being companions displease you? Are you still disgusted with the thought, Master?”

“I-..I don’t know.” Ciel knew this wasn’t the truth, but fear got the better of him. “Step away, you’re too close.”

Sebastian obeyed and returned to his feet. A step back was taken, but he continued to plead his Master for a more honest answer through his eyes. “You don’t understand how frighteningly beautiful you are, to me. Even if you can not remember it ... it is an honor to serve and protect you.” The servant placed a hand over his heart. “... I’ll prepare you a cup of tea, Master.”

“... Very well. That’s fine...” Ciel brought a hand to his lips and tried to avoid something deeply troubling his mind and heart. There was so much more he wanted to ask his servant and discuss with him, but he could not bring himself to talk anymore. It was all so much to consider, and he just wanted a moment alone. It was a lot to think about and Ciel knew his mind needed time to process everything he had learned. What's more... Ciel felt something he did not believe his heart was capable of anymore. It was the most frightening part of everything he had seen and felt so far. 

And yet, every step Sebastian took that brought him further and further away, brought a deep sadness to the younger demon. Ciel allowed him to go, when all he wanted in this moment was to be closer to him. When he believed Sebastian had gone from ear-shot he cursed under his breath. “Damn it ...”

The servant walked down the hallway toward the kitchen where he would prepare his beloved master some ‘tea.’ His face was expressionless, but he allowed a single, black tear to roll down his cheek and drop off his chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was such Hell, haha. ._.  
>  I'll try to update again soon. Things are about to get pretty spicy? Edit: I fixed a few little things here and there.


	7. His Master, Determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grell and the Undertaker meet up for a chat concerning some events taken place. Meanwhile, Ciel and Sebastian have another serious heart-to-heart about their circumstances and it would seem a lot more has changed then the Earl could have ever imagined...

“Well there’s no question if whether or not this is the right place.” Grell Sutcliff sighed and walked into the Undertaker’s shop, his high heels clicking the whole way. There was definitely no mistaking it, even without the huge sign.  
  
“Hello? Mr. Undertaker, sir? I’m here! It’s me, Grell!~” The crimson haired reaper looked around the gloomy, dusty shop but was unable to locate the older one. “You wanted me to come by for a little visit? Here I am!” He playfully opened the lid off of a huge vat of salt. “I just wanted to say thank you, once again. You really saved the day. Hmmm, where are you...?”   
  
Next, they tried one of the coffins that were leaning against the wall, gently moving the cover aside. “Not there either, eh? Maybe he’s not home, afterall...”   
  
All at once, they heard a soft chuckle that made Grell jump and turn around quickly. The Undertaker was right behind him, and laughed more loudly with Grell’s response. Grell managed a softer giggle in turn, “You scared me, so there you are!”   
  
“Indeed! So happy that you found you way back to my little shop. ‘Tea’s on the kettle, ‘Care for some biscuits?” In his hand he held a small black cauldron with many bone-shaped, cooked treats.   
  
“Oh my, no thank you! I’m completely content~” Grell grinned and fluttered his eyelashes. The truth was, he was nervous. They recalled memories of treating this poor reaper quite poorly, even having strangled him at one point and burying him neck-deep in his own salt. In fairness, that was much before Grell knew who he was.   
  
But, this last instance was a bit different. Grell had told an elaborate lie that involved him, and used the fact he knew him personally in order to break the rules. It would be completely understandable if this reaper was angry, or wanted an elaborate favor in return.   
  
“Okay, dearie. Do tell me if you change your mind. Now, about that chat...” The older man sat down on top of his own desk and gestured to Grell to sit, presumedly, on a stack of coffins. It was just-as-good as a chair, though. Goodness knows Grell didn’t care.   
  
“Right! Of course. I hope that I didn’t get you into any kind of trouble...” Grell sat down promptly and tried hard not to play too much with their own hair, failing. “I’m sure you’ve heard all about it, there’s no excuses. I’m such a hopeless fool when it comes to matters of the heart... And all matters concerning Sebastian. You know, it was the strangest thing but I thought that he and that brat had made their way back to Hell. I was EVER so surprised he reached out to me! And even though he is no longer in my jurisdiction, I simply had to help.”   
  
“I figured it was something like that. I’m not angry at you dearie, it was very amusing for me, actually. It was resourceful of you, using me to speak with the father of Death. Heheh!” The Undertaker’s shoulders jerked a bit, sometimes it seemed like it took a lot of effort for him not to laugh. “And that’s not the first time you’ve broken the rules and wound up in the Reaper’s court. ‘Quite the reputation you’ve made for yourself. What, first with Madame Red. And now, this... ”   
  
“Have I?” Grell wriggled his shoulders and his grin widened. “I really ought to learn how to behave. I apologize for involving you, though! I do wish I could make it up. Is that why I’m here, now?”  
  
The Undertaker nodded, “Indeed. I have a... simple, very simple request tah’ ask of you, Sutcliff. And to avoid too much of the idle stuff, I’ll do you a favor and cut right to it: I’m an old reaper and I have many secrets. This one I swore to hold onto forever, but something has come up that I did not expect. It concerns the Earl Phantomhive and that Butler you’ve taken a liking to...”  
  
“Does it? Well I’m all ears!” 

* * *   
  
Earl Ciel Phantomhive carefully sat at the head of his dining room table with just the faintest bit of uneasiness. There was so much that weighed heavy on his heart and mind. The things his butler had told him were so distracting, he had barely noticed how faint and tired he felt. How long had it been since he had a meal? Sebastian said he would prepare him some tea, but.  
  
"...What I'd really like is some cake..." The Earl mused aloud to himself as he walked.   
  
And then it had occurred to him. The realization made the youthful demon shutter. 

  
'I've been so tired... and out of sorts-- it must be because normal food no longer sustains me...' The sentiment continued to echo in his mind. Ciel knew exactly what his Butler ‘ate’ for sustenance. It was strange, coming to the dinner table with the usual expectation that his Butler would bring him something to eat or drink. It felt so routine and normal, and yet he knew-- it wasn’t going to seem so, at least not anymore. Would he ever get used to the idea of it?   
  
Soon after the Earl had gotten settled in his seat, his Butler came in pushing a cart along with a single dish resting on top. It appeared to be a single, frosted slice of devil’s food cake covered by a protective glass. The dessert was topped off with a very thick, extravagant curl of dark chocolate. By and by Ciel noticed that both ends of the chocolate curly-Q curled inward, and to him, it was almost as though the cake itself had devil’s horns.   
  
“Here you are, Master. I might have overheard you little remark. I can prepare some tea for you as well, but I think you'll find this acceptable.” Sebastian’s voice seemed very even, almost gentle. It was impossible to tell whether or not he was still deeply affected by their previous conversation. Sebastian felt he was so close to a confession, but it still seemed distant. The servant placed the cake before his Master and removed the glass case.   
  
“A bit cryptic, isn’t it...?” The young demon took a moment to inhale softly as the cake was placed in front of him. “... This isn’t an ordinary run-of-the-mill sweet, correct?”   
  
“I was only trying to be festive. No, Master. It is not. Although, it is what you need to consume, now. That is... if you want to be in good standing within your circle. And to remain a strong demon, here in the human world. It takes an extraordinary amount of energy for a new demon such as yourself to dwell here. Please, take care to eat it. This one took some time to collect, but I think it will be to your liking.”   
  
Ciel had lifted his fork, he was extremely hungry. The cake smelled utterly divine, it made his mouth water to be near it. Yet in spite of this, he was hesitant to take a bite. Did he dare? This was a human’s soul, after all. Even though he was no longer human, his humanity still felt near-- almost like it wasn’t far enough behind him. “... You once held a contract with a person whom’s very essence is on my plate, now...?” He glanced at Sebastian, “... Are you angry at me for eating it, when I did nothing to earn it?”

“I was a bit angry about the idea, at first.” The butler couldn’t resist chuckling very softly behind a gloved hand. “I must admit, the thought of having another mouth to feed besides my own was rather... infuriating, at the time. But, you are my Master... and you are as helpless now in this existence as you were in your human life.”   
  
Ciel’s eyes narrowed a bit as the tone of Sebastian’s voice took on a familiar, teasing tone. His servant continued, “This is typically not the way things are done, among our kind. Though I am not angry with you, Master. Not anymore. This particular soul was one I had been holding onto for quite some time, in case I ever had a need of it. I know at the current moment, my little collection of souls will serve you well. It is apparent that at current, it is the only way you can possibly gain sustenance. Please, eat.”   
  
The youthful demon looked back at his plate and let the words sink in. It was hard to ignore the kindness that Sebastian was showing him, if one could consider it kindness. It would be rude and foolish to refuse this ‘meal.’ More importantly, Ciel realized all-too-quickly that refusing the meal even if he wanted to would be a foolish thing to do. The young demon felt fatigued, and the hunger made him feel as though he was about to starve.   
  
The gesture still felt strange to accept for some reason Ciel could not place. Even though the younger demon knew he must have had a soul to eat or drink by now... Sebastian went out of his way to disguise them as human food, as not to worry him. The youth felt color rush to his cheeks and he sat his fork down, and leaned back in his chair.   
  
“... Sebastian ... I dismissed you to prepare this meal, because I was not yet ready to hear the rest of what you had to say. I have many questions left I feel the need to ask you. I do not feel I can eat this until then, please take it away for now.”   
  
Sebastian seemed a bit concerned to hear this at first. His head tilted the slightest bit and his brows raised, while his eyes narrowed. It was a thoughtful expression, almost as though he were ready to be insulted. The butler considered the words of his Master, almost wondering if he should press him. However, he decided not to insist. Surely, his Master would eat soon. A smile returned to his face, “As you wish, my Lord. We shall talk some more, but soon, you must eat.” With the wave of his hand, the cake disappeared from the plate. “Please, do not hesitate. That particular soul is no longer to my tastes.”    
  
Ciel gently pushed the emptied plate away from him and turned in his seat to face his Butler. “Now, then. I have a few questions. I felt as though you know more about this then you revealed to me. Why do you believe my memories have been played with. If they are being toyed with, then by whom?”  
  
Sebastian’s eyes were downcast as he answered, “... I can not be completely certain, Master. For a while I believed, that ... you were overwhelmed, and this would pass. Sometimes it happens, to young demons who push their limits too quickly. I thought in time, your memories would return. I’ve tried to care for you as adequately as possible for your benefit... But now I have reason to suspect there might be a different cause for this, something unnatural. Even for a demon.”  
  
“I’ll give you a moment to consider what you know, but there’s also this: you lied to me. You have been continuously lying to me. You promised to never lie.” Ciel’s voice was even colder at times, as a demon.  
  
“No, Master. Only concealing some truth. In order to protect you.”   
  
“I told you. Concealing the truth is the same thing as lying.” Ciel’s brow furrowed.   
  
“No, Master. I must be firm with you about this. It is not at all the same. Your mind is stuck in a past, and I did my best to give you care, as not to overwhelm you again. And again... And again.” Sebastian turned his head, his eyes fell on a candle burning at the table. “I have tried to keep order, I have tried not to bend any rules previously set. I know I have been, shall we say, creative with your orders in the past... but this was simply the best way I knew how to take care of you.”   
  
Ciel seemed to comprehend the hint of his words, “You tried to be upfront with me before, then. ‘Tried to out with the whole truth, bluntly.”  
  
“You did not handle it well, Sire. It was too much for you, at once. This is the first time in a great while that you’ve gotten this far without getting upset, and wound up with amnesia once more. It’s a curious thing. You get into a bit of a rage, and fall asleep. When you wake up, you believe it is still the day of your birth, December 14th of 1889, which is of course the year yo--” 

“Wait. You mean to tell me that it isn’t--?!” Ciel stood up in his chair with some astonishment. “How long has it been?! What year is it, now?” The youthful demon didn’t mean to raise his voice so loudly, but this thought did not occur to him.   
  
Sebastian took a step closer and placed a hand on Ciel’s shoulder, “Master, please. Stay seated. I don’t want the news to come as too much of a shock...”  
  
Ciel sat back down as he was advised.  He didn’t realize when it happened, but as he sat, Sebastian took one of his hands to hold within his own and knelt down to his level. “Master...”   
  
Ciel gazed at his butler. Sebastian seemed so sincere, his brow was arched with a look of grave concern. Ciel had seen him this way many times before, though. The expression had all been some sort of act he had required of him. Yet somehow, in this particular moment in time, his face seemed different to him. It was as though now as Ciel was, he has been gifted an extra sense that revealed to him that this was a genuine display of emotions. Or... was it just his imagination? It was so hard for the young demon to be able to tell.   
  
“... The current date is December, 30th 1928.”   
  
“What... are you talking about...” Ciel could hardly hear the sound of his own voice, he had no concept of how loud he was near-screaming some of his words, “Do you REALLY MEAN to tell me this NONSENSE has been dragging on for FOURTY. GOD DAMN. Years?!”   
  
“It’s been thirty-nine, actually, but we’re nearly fourty-- Master! Please, calm yourself--” In a blink of an eye, his butler enveloped the young demon in a tight embrace to prevent him from lashing out. “Be still, Master!”   
  
“NO! I WONT! STOP! WITH THE LIES!” The youthful demon thrashed about and raised his hand to strike his Butler. This time, as Ciel’s arm was mid-motion and swishing toward his servant, Sebastian grabbed tightly to his wrist to stop him.   
  
**_“ENOUGH, CIEL.”  
_**   
Every candle in the room went out at once. The voice Sebastian spoke in was a voice that Ciel had only heard once or twice that he could recall in his memory. It was enough to still him, for a while the only thing that broke the silence was the sound of Ciel’s own, ragged breath. The young Master became still. It was unclear to him how much time had gone by before Ciel spoke again, “... You can let go. I’m fine.”  
  
His Butler did as was instructed, but he did not return to a standing position. Sebastian kept kneeling to remain at his level, and used his power to restore light to the room. All the candles re-lit themselves. “... My lord, you are not a human child anymore. You remain a young demon, but time... it does not mean the same for humans as it does for demons. I assure you. You are not completely bound by it in the ways you might think you are. Remember what I revealed to you? Do you recall what we were told to do? We must remain here, on Earth, for at least five-hundred years. Time can seem to stand still in moments, and in the same effect, entire years could mean nothing at all. You might not remember all of the time we have spent as we remain here, but I BEG you to believe me when I say that some of them ... truly mattered... You have the right to be upset that you can not recall all of them. But please, do not despair.”   
  
Before Ciel could remark, he observed Sebastian bring a gloved hand to his teeth to bite the tip of his glove in order to remove it. It was a familiar quirk that Sebastian had. Before the young master could figure out why he’d need to remove his glove, he felt Sebastian place his smooth, pale hand upon his face. The Butler’s hands always seemed as though they were cold to the touch, but they were actually quite warm. The two of them made eye-contact for a few moments, and his Butler continued to speak in a gentle tone. As he did so, he took time to pet the other’s face, “... If only you could remember the progress you had made... and all that had taken place. You are such a lovely, strong demon, Ciel. I so wish I could tell you more, but we can only hope something returns to you soon. I dare not share much more with you, about what has taken place. I don’t wish to cause you more grief. But I think perhaps... you know what I am speaking of ... Even as I have apologized and have tried to restore amends... I don’t wish to upset you further. And I know, as you are... you wont believe me, even if I try. My lovely, little Lord...”  
  
Sebastian finally drew his hand away. Ciel was astonished that he could not find it in himself to be disgusted with such a touch. The last time he could recall being caressed in such a way, was within the dream that the young Master was trying hard to push from his mind. As much as Ciel wanted to say something cruel about the affection or call his butler’s words disgusting, he could not bring himself to. Dismissing it for now, would get the point across.

 

'Don't fall for it. He's playing with you,' Ciel thought as his instincts overpowered his impulse to respond to the affection and he forced himself to bury whatever he was feeling DEEP, deep down, 'I have to be harsher about this.'   
  
“... Then tell me something else, then," the Earl began, "You told me earlier, you suspected there was another reason you believed that  _forty years_ of my lifespan became essentially missing from my mind. Another reason why I can not seem to move forward and remain stuck, in my past.” Ciel stood up from the table again, and began to walk to the closest window. The youthful demon opened it up and placed his hands on the windowsill.“You told me it was out of the ordinary, even for my circumstances. What do you know about it? What have you found?”  Ciel had his back to Sebastian as he stared onward into the night. He lifted his eye-patch and seemed to be scanning the horizon.   
  
“...I believe there was some sort of otherworldly involvement. I’m not sure why as of yet. Though I believe if they are not the direct cause, the grim reapers at the very least know of it and are assisting. Your existence caused quite a stir in the underworld as you recall, but the realm of the Death Gods seem troubled by it as well. They are keeping an unusually close watch of your cinematic record, and have put it somewhere secret, outside their normal Library. I believe someone must be meddling with it. I have found evidence to suggest that all of my suspicion and feelings are correct.”   
  
Ciel furrowed his brow, but did not turn around. He was too focused on observing the outside of his home. How did he not see it before? ‘Ciel you idiot’, he scolded himself in his own thoughts. Now as he looked more closely, he could make out so many differences in the landscape in the far distance. “... How is it they have my record, if I am alive?”   
  
Sebastian closed his eyes, “It is the record of your human life, my lord. It is an old life. Your new life as a demon is a separate record, continuously being made. In theory... it is possible that if your old record were to be meddled in or tampered with, it could affect your memory, now.”   
  
“Is that so?” Ciel was fascinated to learn such things. In a moment however, the wonder left his voice and it became cold again, “If this is the case, why haven’t you retrieved my record? ‘Not so worried for your Master’s memory, after all?” Ciel spoke so bluntly with his back turned, that Sebastian’s eyes opened wide. Afterwards, they narrowed into a glare. For a moment, an extremely, rare moment, Sebastian decided to scold him a bit. He could not vocalize what he truly wanted to say. 

“It is not so simple, Master. I have attempted to retrieve your record, quite recently, in fact. It has been a trifle to deal with, your memory lapses-- but I had no reason to suspect some sort of unnatural intervention, until recently. Hmph, It's not as though you had ever bothered to ask me where I had been, or what I had been up to during the times I had left the manor...” The elder demon could not hide the bitterness or resist the bit of cheek, he took a moment to adjust his tail coat and stand as straight and tall as he could. “I did this all of my own accord, with the desire to care for my Master, it’s not as though any of it was a direct order. With all due respect, I am doing my best to preserve your sanity and manage your existence in a very different time period. The other servants can only help so much. You know this.”   
  
Whether it was because of his daring attitude or a sudden thought that came to Ciel, his Butler didn’t know. The young master turned around, and stared at him. For whatever the reasons where, Ciel had a very different look on his face. For the first time in a long while, the young demon Earl felt a certain regal strength return to him.    
  
“Sebastian... I suspect that someone wants to intervene with my progress. For whatever reasons they might have, they want to see me fail. They do not want me to take up residence in the Underworld, or earn a rightful place there. I believe they are tampering with my memories to halt all progress I make, until five centuries pass. What would be the consequences if I fail to appease the demons of our Circle?”   
  
Sebastian paused in thought and placed a hand over his heart. “... Being allowed to take up residence in the Underworld in an honor, for any demon. You must realize, Ciel, and I pray it is a lesson that stays with you, this time. Demons who are earth-bound are often not here by choice. A demon that is bound to Earth is often there to be punished, if they are not there for sport, or to fulfill a contract. The Underworld is a vast, beautiful plane of existence. The human realm is quite small to us, like comparing a grain of sand to an entire coast. Should you fail to gain access... I would be bound to you and doomed to follow, because of our contract. Where ever my Master goes, I am bound to stay close behind. I imagine you’d be asked to remain in the human world for quite some time, perhaps even forever.  
  
The consequence of that for you, I believe, is that you will never receive the right to form your own contracts or know any of the benefits. You'd be a class of demon that gets it's sustenance in a way that I do not think you would find pleasant. You will never become any stronger than you are, now. As for me, I stand to lose... quite a bit, should I not be able to return to the Underworld. My home, all of the souls that I have gathered and brought there, all of my many treasures and things I have collected that I have deemed precious... those will be lost. In addition, I will also lose a great deal of respect among other fellow demons. In short, I’ll be utterly disgraced.”   
  
Ciel Phantomhive paused in thought. As he did so, moonlight peeked through the curtains behind him. The sheen of his skin and hair made him look more ghostly than demonic in the moment. He had not yet placed his eye-patch back into place, and he took a moment to look at Sebastian with both eyes. Even from across the room, Sebastian could see the contract mark clearly in Ciel’s eye and it made the older demon smile. The younger demon tilted his head, and the tone of his voice became just the slightest bit more sympathetic, “It’s a wonder that you’ve managed to be this calm, this whole time. I always detested it when you’d make this remark, but you truly are one hell of a butler." Ciel paused so Sebastian could appreciate the rare compliment, but ended the sentiment with just a few more thoughts.  
  
"You must hate me, very much.” Ciel closed his eyes as a small, sad sort of smile formed on his face. “First I get myself turned into a demon so you can no longer consume my soul, and now this... If I were you, I’d hate me too. Is that what all this 'I love you' business is all about? Were you trying to trick me, to get even? I must admit, you had me going. Well done-- really, good show...”   
  
When Ciel opened his eyes, they were met with red. Sebastian’s face was but a few inches away from his own. His expression sent a cold wave of ice coursing through Ciel’s entire being.    
  
“Never. Presume. To know what I am feeling, ever again. I told you the truth when I told you that I loved you.” Sebastian’s voice was completely void of any teasing, in fact, there was a tone of anger in his voice.   
  
Ciel stood his ground. If it had been very long ago, he might have flinched. “... You are perfectly serious about this, aren't you. You mean to tell me, that the words you wont speak-- It's about us. That you and I were going to be some kind of romantic item.”   
  
“Not ‘going to be’...!” Sebastian spoke in an exasperated, short set of whispers. It was as though he was struggling to speak, Ciel had never heard him speak in such a manner. This was followed by a strange, low sound emitting from Sebastian’s throat area. Ciel realized it was a growl. A strange, black aura began to coat Sebastian’s form so that only his mouth and eyes were visible. It was an eerie sight, but it was something that Ciel had grown used to. However, Sebastian had never been this close to him when he was like this... not since their contract had been formed.  
  
It was difficult for Ciel not to be afraid, even as he was a demon himself. It reminded him of a much more unpleasant time in his existence. He furrowed his brow harshly, trying to look displeased. “ _Stop_ it.”   
  
The aura around Sebastian’s form seemed to waver, like smoke in the wind.   
  
_“... I can not be at peace with the notion that you believe I harbor hate for you...”_  
  
There was an unmistakable rasp in his voice, though it was quiet.   
  
“You think I overreacted before? Well, I think you're overreacting about this. I am your Master. Get it together. _NOW_.” Ciel grit his teeth and reached out a hand suddenly, grabbed the part of Sebastian that he believed to be his face. As soon as he did so, the black aura disappeared and his Butler returned to a normal-human state. “If you say you do not hate me, then I believe your word. But you MUST stop this nonsense. You have a lot at stake, it is not too late to amend the situation. But if this ‘love’ you claim to have for me is going to continue to get in the way, I WILL order you to get rid of it!”   
  
Sebastian’s expression went from surprised blinking, to a playful thoughtfulness. “...I’m not sure that’s how it works, my Lord...”   
  
Ciel tsk’d loudly and let go of his Butler’s face. “Oh, sod off.”

The youthful demon shook his head and gently nudged his Butler aside and proceeded to walk away from the window. Thankfully, it did ease much of the tension between them, at least for the moment.   
  
“Listen to me very carefully, Sebastian. We are going to get to the bottom of all of this. We WILL find the ones responsible for meddling in my affairs, and eliminate them. I want my memories to become restored to me, for they are MINE. I wont be stolen from any longer! I WILL enter the Underworld, I refuse to be seen as a disgrace after everything I had been through. You are going to help me with this. Now, you will refrain from any other foolish nonsense, and loving notions you claim to have for me, until then. Whatever it is you’re not showing me, or telling me in greater detail, will soon be revealed-- and then we’ll see who’s the liar, here.” Ciel turned around and held his head high. “That’s an order.”   
  
Sebastian smiled and felt a great deal of pride in his young master. A part of him felt a pain of sadness that his Master was once again rejecting his advances, but it also motivated the Butler more than ever to carry out these tasks. The older demon could not blame Ciel for not believing him. ‘Oh, _Master_ if only you knew...’ The demon’s thoughts brought him some comfort. He gave a deep, elegant bow that brought him down on his knee. “Yes, my Lord...”    
  
Ciel seemed keen on walking out of the room, something was more important than going back to that cake, it seemed. “Honestly... I can barely form the thought. You and I... romantic companions? Don’t make me laugh. I hope you wont be disappointed, if I still do not love you back.”   
  
Though the young Master’s words were harsh, the smile never left the butler. Ciel in truth was not as confident as he appeared to be. Sebastian had returned to his feet and followed his Master closely, as the Earl chatted on, “-- How much as this world changed in nearly forty years? I imagine I’ll need to learn to adapt pretty quickly, after we take care of this. And we do have so many more years left to go, when this is taken care of. Oy, what a pain! Why do these things always have to happen to ME. Sebastian, are you even listening?”

  
Sebastian was only half-listening as memories that did not seem-so far away came back to him, and a light pink hue tinted the servant’s face. He allowed himself to remember one fond memory in particular in full detail.   
  
_“Young Master, why have we come here?”_  
  
_“Because I have something to tell you ... Your love came to me unexpectedly.  It was startling, and sudden. As if a drop of rain landed on my cheek with the sun still shining in the sky, snapping me out of a daze. It was something that I didn’t realize how much I needed, until it came...”_  
  
_A cat-like tail curled elegantly behind the smaller demon and he took care to keep it as still as possible, to prevent distraction. Black and white rose petals seemed to drift upwards into the sky continuously for a full minute, as these words were carefully spoken. It was more than likely that the very wind around the two figures was being manipulated by one of them. They each stood out in in the expansive garden._  
  
_“What is this... Ciel...” It was so unexpected. But the smaller one continued to speak, offering no explanation for his words. The young Master had asked them both to come here, and they each had taken a form that was somewhere in-between their truest form and their human form. It was a bit indulgent of them to don such forms, but they had fallen into the habit as long as they were alone. The older demon felt his wings draw up close tightly around him, it was something he did when he was paying close attention._  
  
_“Listen. As a human, I was wrought with hatred and bitterness. I stood tall with many allies and noble people I called my pawns, in a game. These people, most might think I took for granted, because I shunned their affection. I chose to remain unaffected by love and tenderness, with reasons I felt were justified. I believed I was born to end up alone, and yet... it was not so. I chose to be alone and live my life for revenge, and without any regrets._  
  
_Here I stand now, as a demon. I can not continue to live the way I once did. Many demons begin their existence in solitude, but due to fate and circumstance, I have you by my side. I took a solemn vow, never to let go of my hatred and desire for revenge. Having achieved my vengeance, with your help... Now as a demon, I now begin a new existence. As long as I exist, my desire is to seek out humans who were much like myself...”_  
  
_“Master...” The taller figure had reached a pair of blackened claws out from beneath his wings to the other demon, intending for their claws to lock in embrace. The words affected him greatly._  
  
_“From now on, as soon as I’m finished uttering these words, the contract that binds us shall be amended. You and I, will work towards the goal of fulfilling the desires of these humans together, and take part in their souls together. I not want to be apart from you, and this contract will ensure this never happens. You will ever be at my side, and I will remain by yours. It is my hope, my greatest desire, to one day be a demon of equal respect and standing. I will always be your Master, but I have much to learn from you._  
  
_I will use my wrath to extend our great circle. I will use my bitterness to protect those who were forsaken by God, who desire to have dignity restored to them no matter the price. For it is these souls that I see a great familiarity and will aid us both. I desire for the two of us to take solace in each other. I desire to inspire you when you lack motivation. I desire to use my power to heal your wounds. I desire my own strength to fight and protect you when you can not protect yourself and to bring you souls if you find yourself weak. I desire to hone my powers, so that together, we are unstoppable and undefeatable. I want the very stars of the universe to quake in our presence. I want us to be companions, Eternal ...”_  
  
_“...Ciel...” The older demon was so touched by the words, that his own were hard to find. The younger demon took out an all-too-familiar ring and it made the older Demon attempt to resist. “...Such gestures are wasted on me, Master...”_  
  
_“I want you to have it. I know how you adore shining things. Forgive the human tradition, I just wanted you to have something to remind you. You are MINE, always. But I, am also yours.” With that, Ciel slipped his family’s ring carefully onto his servant's claw, without a second thought. “Raum, I love you. Forever in my heart, a part of me will always know you and see you as Sebastian. My butler in black, who saved me and heard my plea when no one else did."_  
  
_“...Please, call me Sebastian, Master...” Large, black wings violently opened up with great intensity and wrapped up Ciel close, up in to his chest. For a long time, he held him close and buried his nose into the younger demon’s hair. It was only until he allowed enough space so that he might bring his lips to kiss the younger demon, that he realized he was holding him almost too tightly. “It’s a reminder of how we met... I only want to be known to you as Sebastian, always...”_  
  
_Ciel purred shamelessly and kissed him once more, taking care to move some hair out of Sebastian’s face as he did so. “...Now then, my love... shall we return to the manor...?”_  
  
“Sebastian! **Answer** me!”  
  
The servant brought himself out of the precious memory. The roses and remote landscapes faded back out of his mind’s eye, his focus was upon the young Master, “... Of course. We should get started, immediately. There is much I have to tell you. I had to take a lot of liberty regarding the Funtom Company ..."    
  
The older demon couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the ring Ciel wore on his thumb. Oh, how he longed to have it back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL I had a very unrealistic goal that this fic would be over and completely finished by halloween but I ... 100% do not think so. But I will do my very best to update regularly, I have no intention of abandoning this fic.  
> I really hope this chapter was alright, I just wanted to throw some fluff in because demons in love are my favorite. 
> 
> Also I'm going to be honest and just say I could have picked any old amount of time Ciel was stagnant but I am in love with the idea of Ciel and Sebastian interacting and existing in the 1920s, so they're gonna start out here. 
> 
> I can not decide what to do about Lizzie, yet. When I first wrote this fic some things were really different so I have to choose wisely.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


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